Saga
by Brittsis
Summary: Sequel to Odyssey, third installment in Raegan Shepard story. Following ME2 plot. Rae is brought back and forced to defend the galaxy once again. Can she hold it together long enough to defeat the Collectors? Will a visit from the past ruin her future? What about the lovely Liara? Rated M for violence, language, nudity, and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: Saga is the third story in Raegan Shepard's cycle. It follows Mass Effect 2's story line with a few tweaks. I recommend reading Genesis then Odyssey but it isn't necessary. Though a few friends from previous cycles may make an appearance. /wink.

Sorry it took so long. I went back and forth with how to start this. I have a few excerpts done of Liara's story and wanted to start it there, but it wouldn't quite fall together. It gave me a horrible block until I set it aside for now. Maybe I'll get it together and do it as a separate short story.

-brittsis

* * *

"Why should I give her to you?!" Liara growled, standing guard over the casket behind her.

"Because I assure you we can bring her back." Miranda, Liara's contact, spoke softly. "We need her alive Doctor. More than anything. I've shown you the data."

Liara understood her reasoning, the need to have the Commander back on her feet and fighting. But this was Cerberus, the terrorist group Raegan had fought against. They've done nothing but cause pain and suffering. Investigation after investigation was started as a result of Raegan's work and here Liara was about to hand over the woman's body to them. Raegan wouldn't have wanted it but Liara was feeling selfish. She had so little time with the Commander and she wanted more.

Liara turned from Miranda and placed her hands on the casket, hanging her head. "Please forgive me." She whispered to the one with in and stepped aside.

Miranda waived to her team and placed a soft hand on the asari's shoulder. "It's for the best Doctor."

Liara moved quickly. Her biotics washed over her and her hand was around the woman's throat. Eyes glowed with anger long held back. "Listen to me carefully Miss Lawson. If anything should happen to her or if she's different in anyway, I will hunt you and every scientist down. I don't need to tell you what I went through to get her back and I'll do it again. Do we have an understanding?"

Miranda nodded and fell to her knees when she was released. She waved the guards off and rose to her feet slowly. "Where will you be Doctor?"

"Illium," Liara answered, "I have debt to repay and the information network there will be my best bet."

* * *

Awareness slowly trickled in. Pain like she never experienced spread through her body as she gasped for breath. Rae could hear people talking but couldn't make out the words. The drugs in her system were trying to drag her down but she fought against them. She had to wake up, she had to check on her crew. Something wasn't right. Her eyes opened as she fought to speak but nothing would work. A woman walked into view and tried to calm her but it only caused more panic. Rae didn't know who the woman was or where they were.

Her hand lifted into view and the woman pushed it back onto the table. More words were exchanged and Rae could feel the pull again. She struggled against it but the fight was useless. The drugs won the battle and pulled her under again. Part of her mind called out for help while the rest embraced it.

* * *

"Shepard! You need to get up!" The words were muffled, barely recognizable. She could hear alarms and gun fire but they all seemed far away. Instinct had her rolling off her bunk but her body was clumsy and heavy. Rae couldn't seem to concentrate as she stumbled forward, pulling herself up with a locker. She could hear someone yelling at her, giving her instructions, but couldn't make the words out.

"I'm working on it Sir!" Rae slurred out.

"Shepard, get up and get your gear on! We're under attack."

Rae nodded and forced her body to cooperate. It took twice as long to gear up. As time went the haze was lifting but it was a slow process. Only instinct and years of being on the war front kept her going. She stopped at the door, leaning against the frame to get her breath back. It was then that she noticed the needles and bottles that filled one of the tables. Gritting her teeth, she stumbled over and began reading the labels.

"What are you doing Shepard?" The voice demanded filled with urgency.

"One… I just nee…" Rae found the bottle she needed and carefully filled one of the needles.

"We don't have time for this!"

Ignoring her, Rae took a couple breaths and jammed the needle into her neck. She pushed the plunger down and closed her eyes. It took but a few seconds for it to take effect. The haze lifted and Rae could think clearly again. The adrenaline wouldn't last long but without it she wouldn't have been able to fight.

"Are you done yet?"

Rae frowned as she examined the pistol in her hand. It was of foreign design and didn't have any ammunition. "There's no clip."

"It's a med bay Shepard. We'll find you a clip later. Right now you need to move, the mechs are heading your way."

Rae peaked out the door before stepped out. She moved down the hall carefully, checking her corners. "What mechs? Where am I?"

"I'll answer your questions later. Right now we have to get you off the station."

Questions filled her but she pushed them aside for now. Rae found a fallen guard just beyond the door with the clips she need. She knelt to pick them up while testing for a pulse. There was none. The voice urged her on and Rae growled in response. She wouldn't be hurried past each body, there was still a chance she'd find someone alive. The next room held a single mech which she quickly dispatched. She grabbed its extra clips before continuing on.

"Stay in cover while you dispatch the mechs." The voice warned.

Rae decided to listen and ducked out of sight. She leaned out and delivered a head shot before returning to cover. It took a couple more tries but she dispatched of the rest and rose from cover. Part of her was beginning to wonder if this was a test. Did the Alliance find her after the attack broken and bleeding? Had she been in a coma and just woke up? Then why were the mechs using live rounds? Sure she'd gone through tests with real rounds before but that had been after months of training and briefing before hand. Surely the Alliance would've waited until she fully recovered before testing her abilities.

"Who are you?!" Rae called out as she rounded another corner.

"No time… mechs…. Get…. Shuttle…" The communication cut out and Rae cursed. There went her only source of information.

* * *

Rae dove into the room, found cover, and used her pistol to help kill the few remaining mechs. There were two other men in the room as well, both choosing to ignore her until danger had passed. When the last hostile fell, Rae rose and turned to them. Her pistol remained at her side, ready just in case.

"Shepard?" The dark skinned man frowned as he rose from cover. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask the same thing. I just woke up."

"I'm Jacob Taylor, this is one of my men…" The man shook his head, an oath muttered under his breath. "It must be bad if Miranda woke you up."

"I need answers." Rae spoke slowly as she looked around. "Where am I? Who are you? And what the hell is going on?"

"What do you remember?"

Rae paused, reaching for the memories. "We were attacked, the ship was falling apart. I ordered an evacuation but…" She flinched as she remembered floating, all of her air gone. The feeling of panic that flooded her as she slowly suffocated to death. Then the pain, brief before her brain had shut down.

"You were brought here, nothing but a mass of meat and tubes. They started surgery two years ago and weren't due to come out of it for a few more weeks." Jacob explained. "Look, I'll tell you everything once we're off this station."

Rae frowned still not satisfied with his answer. It had only caused more questions and a nagging doubt to tug at her gut. "Just… just one more. My crew?"

"Most survived Shepard. Only a few from engineering and Pressley didn't make it."

Rae nodded, feeling relief settle in. There was still grief over those lost but Liara had made it. "What's the quickest way to the shuttles?"

"Depends where the mechs are thickets." The other male finally spoke up, drawing Rae's attention. He was fully suited, visor mirrored to hide his face. His right arm was missing though, a robotic replacement attached to his armor.

"And you are?" Rae asked, eyebrows tight together.

Before he could answer someone started talking over the comms. "Check, check. Anyone on this frequency? Anybody still alive out there? Hello?"

Jacob frowned, "Wilson? This is Jacob. I'm here with Commander Shepard. Just took out a wave of mechs over in D wing."

"Shepard's alive? How the hell…" The voice hesitated. "Never mind. You need to get him out of there. Get to the service tunnels and head for the network control room."

"Roger that Wilson. Stay on the frequency."

Rae wanted more answers but decided to self them for now. She'd just have to watch her back as she fought through the station. "Let's go."

* * *

"Okay, we took them down, but this is getting tense." Jacob spoke up. "Shepard, if I tell you who we work for, will you trust me?"

Wilson took a step forward, a frown creasing his face. "This really isn't the time Jacob."

Jacob shook his head, "We won't make it if she's expecting a shot in the back."

"If you want to piss off the boss, it's your ass Jacob." Wilson cross his arms, fear quickly being masked.

Rae narrowed her eyes as she listened to Jacob. "The Lazarus Project, the program that rebuilt you…. It's funded and controlled by Cerberus."

At the terrorist group's name Rae growled, biotics rippling across her skin. She advanced on Jacob, arm reach out to grab him. "I don't like liars Taylor."

"I didn't lie." Jacob spoke quickly as he backed up, hands up in surrender. "I just omitted a few things."

"Same thing." Rae lunged forward only to have her wrist wrapped in an iron grip and jerked behind her. The armored soldier had used her momentum against her, placing her in a hold. For a brief second she stopped in surprise as she recognized the move. It had been taught to her during boot, drilled into her head over and over by her instructors. "Let me go."

The man held tight as she struggled, "Not until you control yourself."

"There's more to it than you think Shepard." Jacob spoke quickly. "The Alliance declared you dead. They gave up. Cerberus spent a fortune to bring you back. Look, I'd be suspicious too. But right now, we have to work together. I thought you deserved to know what's what."

Jacob sighed and signaled her captor to release her. "Once we're off this station, I'll take you to the Illusive Man. He'll explain everything, I promise."

Rae pulled away from the soldier and grabbed her gun. "I don't care what they did or what you say, I'm not working with terrorists!"

She turned and started through the words, ignoring Jacob talking behind her.

* * *

"C'mon through here, we're almost at the…" Wilson stopped as a woman emerged when the door opened. "Miranda but you were…"

Miranda lifted her gun and shot him. "Dead?"

Rae lifted her gun while Jacob ran up. He looked down at Wilson then back up at Miranda. "What the hell were you doing?"

Miranda sighed, "My job. Wilson betrayed us all."

Rae narrowed her eyes but didn't lower he gun. "Even if you're sure, did he deserved that welcome?"

Miranda shook her head. "He sabotaged the security systems, killed my staff, and he would have killed us."

"You sure about that Miranda?" Jacob asked. "We've known Wilson for years. What if you're wrong?"

"I'm never wrong." Miranda stated in a cool even tone. "I thought you'd have learned that by now Jacob."

"I've known her less than you have Jacob and even I know that." The other soldier spoke up, keeping guard at the door. "Now can we move this on? I'm getting itchy with my back exposed."

"You're really smug about yourself aren't you?" Rae shook her head and lowered her gun. "Personally I don't care what happens to you Cerberus bastards as long as I get out of here."

Miranda frowned, "Ah Jacob. I should've known your conscience would get the better of you."

"Lying to the Commander isn't the way to get her to join our cause."

"As she pointed out to him earlier." The soldier spoke up again, walking over to them. "Now seriously guys, we need to leave."

"He's right." Miranda turned and walked toward the shuttle. "Besides, our boss wants to speak with you."

Rae followed behind them and climbed inside. The soldier took the pilot seat and took off as soon as the hatches were clear. Rae pulled her helmet off and ran her gloved hands through her hair. She frowned as she realized there wasn't much hair there. She was shaved to a short buzz cut, only a small fuzz capping her head.

"Sorry, we didn't have time to worry about cosmetics but with time you're hair will grow back." Miranda spoke up as she watched her. "Before you meet with the Illusive Man, we need to ask a few questions to evaluate your condition."

"Come one Miranda. More Tests?" Jacob spoke up, fidgeting in his seat. "Shepard took down those mechs without any trouble. That has to be good enough."

Miranda shook her head. "It's been two years since the attack. The Illusive Man needs to know that Shepard's personality and memories are intact. Ask the questions."

Rae flinched at the time. Jacob had mentioned it before but she was just allowing it to sink in. It felt like the Normandy was attacked yesterday and only a couple hours have passed. "I still can't believe it's been that long."

"Two years and twelve days to be exact." Jacob replied. "And you were on an operating table for most of it."

"The sooner we start, the sooner we can be done. Start with personal history."

Jacob sighed but nodded, accessing his Omni-tool. "Okay. Records show you were raised on Mindoir and survived a slaver raid. You enlisted and quickly gained the ranks. You have several achievements including Elysium and Torfan. Do you remember that?"

The memories came back, red and hot. They flashed in her mind, still fresh. "I did what needed to be done on both accounts. Depending who you talk to I'm either a savior or a butcher but in the end I'm only a soldier trying to get my mission done."

"I read the reports Shepard." Jacob leaned forward. "You did what you had to. Satisfied Miranda?"

"Almost." Miranda called up her own Omni-tool. Let's try something more recent. Virmire, where you destroyed Saren's cloning facility. You had to leave one of your squad behind to die in the blast."

"Chief Ashley Williams was killed in action. It was your call. Why did you leave her behind?"

Rae clenched her fist and stood in the small shuttle. She paced the small space, "I had no choice. The bomb needed to go off and I couldn't risk the Geth deactivating it. Williams was a good soldier and deserves respect for her sacrifice, not you using her to nit pick at my choices."

Jacob shook his head. "We meant no offense Commander. I wasn't judging your decision. Everybody at Cerberus knows that cloning facility had to be destroyed."

Rae paused in her pacing as she considered that piece of information. Part of her wanted to rip him a new asshole. She didn't bomb the place because of some human superiority complex. She opened her mouth to say something but decided better on it.

Miranda watched her carefully, making notes on the Commander's reactions. "Shepard, think back to the Citadel, after the Alliance saved the Destiny Ascension, and you killed Saren. What happened next?"

"Humanity was offered a spot on the Council. I recommend Captain Anderson for the position. The Council listened to me for once and repairs began. After weeks of celebrations and reward ceremonies." Rae answered, shuddering at the memories.

Miranda nodded, "Yes, Captain Anderson is now Councilor Anderson. Though from what I hear he preferred life in the military."

"Still good to know that the human Council member isn't going to put politics ahead of defense." Jacob grinned.

"Your memory seems solid. There are other tests we really should run…"

Jacob sighed and fidgeted in his chair again. "Come on Miranda… Enough with the quizzes. The memories are there, and I can vouch for Shepard's combat skills personally."

Miranda nodded. "I suppose you're right. We'll have to hope the Illusive Man accepts our little field test as evidence enough."

Rae frowned and retook her seat. She was looking forward to meeting the guy. Maybe then she could get some answers.

* * *

They landed and were immediately escorted to a waiting room. Rae spotted some lockers and decided to shed the armor she was wearing. She had spotted the Cerberus logo on the shoulder plate and refused to continue to wear it. Beside her Jacob was putting his weapons away in another locker. Miranda went right to a terminal and began to input data. The soldier that had accompanied them went to one of the chairs and sat down, not even removing his helmet. Rae frowned, "Isn't he going to get more comfortable?"

Jacob looked over and shook his head. "Chief rarely takes off his gear. Besides, that arm is fused to the armor. He left his out of armor arm back at the station."

"Chief his name?"

Jacob shook his head. "Just his nickname that he asked us to call him. He joined Cerberus a little over two years ago but it took a year to get him back in shape and fitted. He's ex-Alliance, a Marine that lost his arm to the Batarians. You might know him Commander, said he was at Elysium,"

"What's his name?" Rae was curious now.

Jacob shrugged, "Never told me. Said it was taken from him long ago."

Rae closed her locker and went to talk to him, only to have Miranda stop her. "The Illusive Man is waiting for you Commander."


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: ahh it feels good to be writing again. A release that can't be compared. Sooooo. Anyone guess who Chief is yet? I think I left adequate clues. It's someone from Genesis, someone you guys thought down and out for the count. No? Well read and find out then.

Okay sorry for the long wait. I caught the flu, then my allergies acted up, and now I'm battling a nasty cold that might reactivate my bronchitis. I hate life -sigh-

-brittsis

* * *

"Commander Shepard," The Illusive Man spoke slowly, watching her with a critical eye.

Rae crossed her arms and settled back on her foot, "Illusive Man, I thought we'd be meeting face-to-face."

His lips turned up in a brief smile. "A necessary precaution. Not unusual for people who know what you and I know."

"In other words you expected me to walk in here and shoot you."

He narrowed his eyes and Rae received her answer. On some level he feared her and Rae planned to use that to her fullest advantage. Grinning, she allowed her arms to fall and stepped forward. "You might be the reason I'm still alive, but that doesn't mean I trust you."

There was a moment of silence as they both watched each other. Their eyes meet in challenge, neither wanting to admit defeat. In the end The Illusive Man gave in with a sigh and a shake of the head. "You need to put your personal feelings aside. Humanity is up against the greatest threat of our brief existence."

Rae's eyes narrowed, "The Reapers."

"Good to see your memory's still intact. How are you feeling?"

Rae just barely kept herself from growling, instead choosing to ignore the question. "What's your game here?"

He took a drag from his cigarette, "Cerberus isn't as evil as you believe. You and I are on the same side; we just have different methods."

"Cut to the chase. What are the Reapers doing that made you decide to bring me back?"

"We're at war." He stood up and paced the room. "No one wants to admit it, but humanity is under attack. While you've been sleeping, entire colonies have been disappearing. Human colonies. We believe it is someone working for the Reapers. Just as Saren and the Geth aided Sovereign. You've seen it yourself. You bested all of them. That's just one reason we chose you."

"If it's a threat against humanity, you need to mobilize the Alliance."

He shook his head, "They suffered substantial losses fighting Sovereign. They're rebuilding, still stretched too thin to waste resources verifying the Reaper threat. Blaming the abductions on mercs and pirates is easier. And more convenient."

Rae considered this, fist tightening. She could easily believe that. It had been a push from the beginning, no one wanting to accept that the end was coming. They'd rather close their eyes and ignore the threat then acknowledge it and prepare in fear. "If what you say is true…. If the Reapers are behind this… I'd consider helping but I will have my conditions."

He nodded. "I'd be disappointed if you accepted any of this without seeing for yourself. I have a shuttle ready to take you to Freedom's Progress, the latest colony to be abducted. Miranda, Jacob, and Chief will brief you."

Rae frowned, "Miranda killed Wilson in cold blood. Jacob's just a gun for hire. I don't even know Chief's real name or seem his face. You expect me to trust them?"

The illusive Man sat back down, crossing his legs. "Wilson was one of my best agents, but he was a traitor. Miranda did exactly what I expected of her. And she saved your life in more ways than one. Jacob's a soldier, one of the best. He's never fully trusted me, but he's always been honest about it. Chief…"

He paused, taking a moment to grin. "He's someone from your past, someone you trusted. I suggest you go ask him yourself. You'll be just fine with them… for now."

Rae didn't like this, "Is this a volunteer job, or am I being volunteered?"

"You always have a choice Shepard. If you don't find the evidence we're both looking for, we can part ways. But first go to Freedom's Progress. Find any clues you can. Who's abducting the colonies? Do they have any connection to the Reapers? I brought you back. It's up top you to do the rest."

Rae went back to the waiting room, her eyes narrowing as she spotted Chief. He looked so relaxed reclined back with his feet propped up. Rae could bet his eyes were closed as well, taking a cat nap after today's activities. The Illusive Man said he was from her past, someone she had trusted. Jacob said he was ex-Alliance and fought at Elysium. Batarians took his arm and he lost his name…. it all clicked and Rae felt her head spin.

Her hand grabbed the wall as she steadied herself. She allowed herself those brief moments of weakness before banishing it. Rae couldn't afford to crumble now, to much depended on her strength. Mustering her courage, she quickly strode over and kicked his legs from their perch. She allowed anger to fuel her as he stood. Her eyes reflected in the visor but she knew what lay just behind them. "This whole time! You were here, hiding with these terrorists! You just left, no explanation, no contact. Your mother was worried."

Jacob rushed over, "Shepard!"

Rae turned to him, eyes narrowed in warning. "Stay out of this Taylor, this doesn't concern you!"

"He's just defending a squad mate Raegan." Chief replied, reaching up to release the latches on his helmet. "And I'm not hiding. Cerberus offered an invitation that I couldn't resist."

"What a new arm? The Alliance offered you the same!" Rae growled, turning her fury back on him. "They offered many times and each time you refused, drowning in your self pity!":

"Self pity! I was tortured Raegan. Two fucking years I was whipped, beaten, and drugged. Two fucking years they used you against me, killing you over and over in my head!" He threw his helmet down and took a step forward, causing her to take a step back. "Then you disappear without so much of a goodbye, not even a glance back. So don't lecture me"

"The doctors said it was for the best. I couldn't…" Rae stopped, taking a step away. She closed her eyes and gathered herself. "Gather your gear Freeman, we have a disappearance to investigate."

"It's Chief now."

Rae shook her head, "No, you're Operations Chief Charles Freeman. Former Marine and a past friend. Gear up."

* * *

The shuttle set down and Rae stepped out. She looked around, frowning at the silence. Even the wild life refused to make a sound. It was unnerving. Miranda stepped out beside her and shook her head. "It was like this at the other colonies as well. The surrounding areas were fine but inside the colony limits everything was dead."

"This isn't slavers." Rae replied.

"How do you know?"

"It's never quiet after slaver attacks." Charles answered as he stepped out of the pilot seat. "Slavers kill the useless stock, leaving their bodies behind. They don't want to waste precious cargo space. They burn everything, leaving nothing behind. You can hear the fires and smell the fear. This place…. This place is worse than death. At least death is peaceful."

Rae felt something inside her tug, an urge to comfort him. But something in his eye warned her against it. Instead she pulled out her new shotgun and headed for the closest door. "Let's go people. The quicker we get this done the quicker I can go home."

* * *

Rae could hear movement on the other side of the door. She signaled the others as she stood to one side. Charles palmed the door open and she swung inside, the others following.

"Alliance, put your weapons down!" Rae yelled out upon seeing the Quarians huddled inside. "I said weapons down!"

There was a couple seconds of both sides yelling at each other. Neither wanting to back down. Rae's finger tightened on her trigger, eyes darting through the room. Then one pushed to the front and Rae recognized the voice.

"Prazza! You said you'd let me handle this!" The Quarian girl pushed the weapons down and turned to them. "I'm sorry, we weren…. Shepard?"

"I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives!" Prazza interrupted.

"Put those weapons down!" Tali ordered again. She turned back to them. "Shepard? Is that… you're alive?"

Rae nodded, smiling at the girl. "Remember when we got that Geth data Tali? Did it help you complete you pilgrimage?"

Tali nodded, "Yes, it did. Prazza, weapons down. This is definitely Commander Shepard."

Prazza finally put his gun away. "Why is your old commander working for Cerberus?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should ask."

Rae felt the anger emerge but quickly put a lid on it. "I don't work for them. I nearly died Tali. Cerberus spent two years rebuilding me. They want me to investigate attacks on human colonies. Don't tell them, but I'm only using them."

Charles chuckled behind her but shut up when she turned and glared.

Prazza crossed his arms. "Likely story. No organization would commit so many resources to bring back one soldier."

Tali spoke up, "You haven't seen Shepard in action Prazza. Trust me. It was money well spent." She turned back to Shepard. "Perhaps we can work together. We're looking for a young Quarian named Veetor. He was here on Pilgrimage."

Rae frowned, "Isn't that a little strange? A Quarian visiting a remote human colony?"

Tali shook her head. "Quarians can choose where they go on pilgrimage. Veetor liked the idea of helping a small settlement. He was always… nervous in crowds."

Prazza spoke up. "She means that he was unstable. Combine that with damage to his suit's CO2 scrubbers and an infection from open-air exposure, and he's likely delirious."

"When he saw us landing, he hid in a warehouse on the far side of town. We suspect he also programmed the mechs to attack anything that moved."

Rae nodded, "Veetor's the only one who can tell us what happened here. We should work together to find him."

"Good idea. You'll need two teams to get past the drones anyway."

"Now we're working with Cerberus?" Prazza spat out in disgust.

Tali stepped toward him, "No Prazza, you're working for me. If you can't follow orders, go wait on the ship." She waited a second before turning back. "Head for the warehouse through the center of the colony. We'll circle around the far side and draw off some of the drones to clear you a path."

Rae frowned, "Your people really don't like Cerberus. What did I miss?"

"They killed our people, infiltrated our flotilla, and tried to blow up one of our ships." Prazza answered.

Rae turned to Miranda who shrugged. "That's not how I'd have explained it exactly. It was nothing personal."

Jacob spoke up, "We can argue over who killed who later. Right now, we've got a job to do."

"Agreed. We work together to get to Veetor."

Rae sighed, shaking her head. "Just make sure to keep in radio contact Tali. We'll talk later."

Tali nodded. "Will do. Good luck Shepard. Whatever happens… it's good to have you back."

The Quarians left and Charles cleared his throat behind her. "Well that was a little awkward."

"And you wonder why I want nothing to do with Cerberus." Rae growled and unshipped her weapon. "Move out people."

* * *

Rae cursed as she dove behind cover. Those damn Quarians had gone against orders and messed things up. Now they were pinned by a heavy mech which was steadily whittling her cover away. The crate against her back shuddered with each bullet. Miranda leaned out and hit the machine with an overload, weakening it's shields.

"Orders Shepard?" Jacob called over the comms, causing her to frown. She missed her old team.

"Taylor, Freeman, distract it. Miranda, take it's shields down!"

"Aye aye." Charles called out, stepping from his cover and unloading his assault rifle.

Rae waited until she heard the shields pop before running out. She charged from behind, her biotics bathing her figure. With a roar she suddenly launched forward and slammed into the mechs back side. It stumbled forward just as Jacob hit it with a pull, yanking it to the ground. It struggled to get back up as Rae jumped onto its back and unloaded her shotgun into it's head.

"Watch out!" Jacob yelled as it's head exploded. The machine shuddered and Rae jumped off, running back to cover. Warning sounds filled the air right before it suddenly exploded. Rae was thrown to the ground as warmth bathed her back. Her shields popped and her armor groaned but held against the heat.

"Shepard!?" Miranda yelled.

Charles ran forward, waving his omnitool and causing omnigel flooded her suit. He knelt beside her and turned her over slowly. "Raegan…"

Rae groaned, "I'm fine. What the hell happened?"

"Self destruct sequence. What the fuck were you thinking?" Charles growled and helped her to her feet.

"How was I suppose to know it would go all nuclear on me? Usually they just drop lifeless when you blow their heads up." Rae dusted the snow off and grabbed her shot gun from the ground.

"Well fyi, mechs blow up when you severe their heads."

"Good to know." Rae looked around until she spotted the warehouse. "Veetor must be in there. Let's check."

* * *

Rae had ordered her men to help carry the wounded back to their ship. They loaded the last inside and secured them down and she waved them off. Walking over to Tali, she sighed. "I have to go with them Tali. They're the only ones willing to help."

Tali nodded. "Your government has done little. Even the Flotilla is refusing to help. Not our problem they say."

"You can come with me Tali. Be like old times."

Tali shook her head. "I want to but I've got a mission of my own. It's too important for me to abandon, even for you. When it's over, and I'm still alive, we'll see what happens."

Rae nodded. She understood but it still hurt to be put aside. There had been a time when Tali would have come with her, no questions asked. But that was two years ago. "I understand."

Tali sighed, handing Rae an omnitool. "Here, it's Veetor's. Good luck Shepard."

Rae took it and shook the girl's hand. "Good luck as well Tali. If you need anything… well just call."

* * *

The hologram loaded and Rae frowned at the man seated before her. He took a sip of his drink and regarded her carefully. "Shepard, good work on Freedom's Progress. We've gone over Veetor's data, no new information, but a surprising olive branch given our history. You and I have different methods, but I can't argue with your results."

"You ever think about playing nice once in a while?" Rae asked, crossing her arms.

"Diplomacy is great when it works but difficult when everyone already perceives you as a threat. But more importantly, you confirmed the Collectors are behind the abductions."

Rae frowned, "Why do I get the feeling you knew about them already?"

"I had my suspicions, but I needed proof. The Collectors are enigmatic at best. They periodically travel to the Terminus Systems, looking to gather seemingly unimportant items or specimens. Usually in exchange for their technology. When their transactions are complete, they disappear as quickly as they arrived, back beyond the unmapped Omega 4 relay. Until now, we've had no evidence of direct aggression by the Collectors."

Rae sighed, dropping her arms. "Any ideas why they've shifted their focus to humans?"

He shrugged. "If they're agents for the Reapers it can be any number of reasons. Obviously, humanity played a huge role in Sovereign's destruction. That might have been enough to draw their attention. What really concerns me is why they bother abduction the colonists. Once the humans are paralyzed, why not just kill them?"

"You're holding something back. How do you know the Reapers are involved?"

"The patterns are there, buried in the data." He answered. "The Council and the Alliance want to believe the Reaper threat died with Sovereign. You and I know better. I won't wait until the Reapers are on the march. We need to take the fight to them."

Her forehead creased as she frowned, considering his words. "If I do this, I'm going to need a team."

He nodded, drawing information up at his finger tips. "I've already compiled a list of soldiers, scientists, and mercenaries. You'll get dossiers on the best of them. Finding and convincing them to work with you could be challenging, but you're a natural leader. I'll continue to track the Collectors. When they make their next appearance, I'll notify you and your team. Be ready."

"Keep your list. I want people I trust, the ones who helped me stop Saren and the Geth." Rae growled.

"That was two years ago Commander. Most of them have moved on. Or their allegiances have changed."

Rae cursed, "Fine but that's one of my conditions. I want to know where they are and what they are doing."

He nodded, taking a drag from his cigarette. "It's ill advisable but it can be done. Anything else?"

"I want it clear that I'm not working for nor have I joined Cerberus. You guys are glorified terrorist and I want as little to nothing to do with it." Rae pointed a finger at him. "Once I no longer need your resources, I will be leaving."

"Understandable. Two things before you go. First, head to Omega and find Mordin Solus. He's a brilliant Salarian scientist. Our intelligence suggest he may know how to counteract the Collectors paralyzing seeker swarms."

Rae nodded, "All right. What's the other thing?"

"I've found a pilot I think you might like. I hear he's one of the best. Someone you can trust." The Illusive Man hung up, ending the hologram program.

"Hey Commander. Just like old times, huh?"

Rae turned around, her eyes narrowing. Standing before her was the best pilot the Alliance had to offer and he was smiling. Rae grinned, "I can't believe it's you Joker."

He motioned for her to follow, limping ahead. "Look who's talking. I saw you get spaced."

Rae nodded, "I got lucky, with a lot of strings attached. How'd you get here?"

Joker sighed. "It all fell apart without you Commander. Everything you stirred up, the Council just wanted gone. Team was broken up, records sealed, and I was grounded." He shook his head sadly, stopping in front of some windows. "The Alliance took the one thing that mattered to me. Hell yeah I joined Cerberus."

"You really trust the Illusive Man?" Rae asked, stopping beside him.

Joker shook his head. "I don't trust anyone who makes more than I do. But they aren't all bad. Saved your life. Let me fly… And there's this. They only told me last night."

Lights turned on, revealing the ship just on the other side of the glass. It was the Normandy, only larger. Memories were brought back upon seeing the ship. It stirred inside her, causing her fist to clench and unclench.

Joker grinned, "It's good to be home huh Commander?"

Rae sighed. "I guess we'll have to give her a name. Oh and Joker, one thing."

"Yes Commander?"

Rae moved quickly, grabbing hold of the pilot and shoving him against the glass. He let out a shout as she tightened her glove around his throat. Fury burned in her eyes. "When I give the order to evacuate you evacuate. No questions asked! Am I understood?"

Joker nodded, eyes wide.

"Good," Rae release him. "Let's get going, we have a long day ahead of us."

"Yes Commander." Joker croaked, rubbing his now bruised throat.


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: Sure enough my bronchitis was aggravated. Nothing like coughing your lungs out and feeling like you're breathing through a wet sponge. All better now though. Still coughing once in a while but I can breathe! YAY! Oh well. Here's another chapter for you guys. Went back and forth with who to recruit first.

-brittsis

* * *

Liara's Omni tool beeped, a message from her secretary. Frowning, she keyed in the code and brought the girl up screen. "I'm sorry Ma'am. I know you said you didn't want to be bothered but your caller insisted on being put through."

"Who is it?"

"A Miss Lawson. She said it was important." The Asari answered calmly.

Liara's eyes widened and her heart stopped. "Put her through."

The woman nodded and the screen switched over. Liara stood and transferred the screen to the larger one behind her. Liara swallowed and spoke one word, "Shepard?"

"Alive and awake," Miranda answered.

"I'll be right over." Liara spoke quickly and began to move papers around.

"That would be inadvisable Doctor." Miranda called out. "Certain matters have arisen and it is my belief that the Commander has chosen not to open old wounds."

Liara froze, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Doctor, it has been two years. Shepard has expressed that involving her old team would cause them distress. She has decided to move on without you."

Liara shook her head, not believing her. "Shepard wouldn't do that. She would've asked about us as soon as she woke, worried."

Miranda shook her head. "She hasn't shown any concern and when asked informed us that she wishes to form a new team."

Liara slowly sank into her chair, her heart breaking. "But…"

Miranda sighed. "Her old fiancé is onboard Doctor. From before she met you. Surely you've heard about him."

"Charles.. She loved him." Liara spoke in almost a whisper.

"And still does Doctor. Surely it is better to leave the past behind. Like I said, it's been two years. Besides, now you can continue your mission with no distractions."

Liara nodded, tears in her eyes. "Yes.. I… Thank you Miss Lawson."

"It's been a pleasure Doctor." Miranda hung up the call and pulled up the one on hold. The Illusive Man came onto the screen. "Message delivered."

TIM took a sip of his drink and nodded. "Do you think it worked?"

Miranda nodded. "She was accepting, in the end."

"Good. Tell Freeman he can begin his mission."

* * *

Rae growled, throwing the data pad across the room. The Illusive Man had made good on his deal and provided history and locations on her old team. So many of them her un-locatable or out of reach though. So many of them lost to her. Kaidan was on a classified mission for the Alliance. Wrex was on Tuchanka. Tali with the Migrant Fleet. Garrus had disappeared off the face of the universe. And Liara…

She pushed out of her chair and paced the room. Her status had bothered her the most. It had been based on rumor, thought to be working with the Shadow Broker. It had to be wrong though. Liara wouldn't fall into that line of work unless… Unless the Shadow Broker promised information on the Protheans and funding for her passion.

"Commander, we've arrived and began docking procedure." EDI spoke up, appearing in her console.

Her fists tightened as she struggled to control her anger. "Tell Lawson and Freeman to suit up, they'll be going over with me."

"Right away Commander."

Rae let out a long breath, letting the frustration out. She rubbed her face hard and flinched at the tug on her scarring. It still ached a bit but the scars themselves bothered her. She had examined herself in the mirror earlier, frowning at the glowing lines. Miranda had said it would heal with time but Rae didn't know what to think. She'd never been one to care about her looks but the glow of her cybernetics was unnerving.

* * *

"Ah! Welcome to Omega! You're new here, aren't you? I can always tell Allow me to…" A Batarian walked up, halting the Salarian and causing him to become nervous. "Oh.. Hello Moklan! I was just…"

"Leave Fargut. Now." Moklan growled, waving him awake,

Fargut nodded. "Of course Moklan. Whatever she wants!"

He ran off, the Batarian taking his spot. Rae narrowed her eyes as he spoke. "Blasted scavengers. Welcome to Omega… Shepard."

"You know who I am?"

"Of course. We had you tagged the moment you entered the Terminus Systems. You're not as subtle as you think." Moklan answered. "Aria wants to know what brings a dead Spectre to Omega. I suggest you fo to Afterlife now and present yourself."

Rae frowned, "Cut the attitude. I'm not here to cause problems for Omega."

Moklan snorted. "Things explode around you Shepard. You can't blame Aria for keeping an eye on you. Afterlife. Now!"

Rae watched him walk away as she growled. "A lot of people telling me what to do lately and I don't like it."

"You're an Alliance shoulder Raegan." Charles spoke up behind her. "You'd think you'd be use to being told what to do."

"By my superiors, yes. By random people that I've never met before, no." Rae growled out.

"She is the best source for information Commander." Miranda spoke up. "Better to not get on her bad side."

Rae sighed, "Fine, let's go people. Seems we've been summoned."

* * *

"That's close enough." Aria spoke up, her men halting Rae's ascent. Gun's were pulled and her team reacted. Charles grinned as he swung his assault rifle from one assailant to the other.

One of the Batarians put his gun away at Aria's signal and started scanning her. "Stand still."

Rae frowned, pulling her side arm out. "If you're looking for weapons, you're not doing a very good job."

"Can't be too careful with dead Spectres. That could be anyone wearing your face."

Rae shook her head, taking a step forward. "I was told you're the person to talk to if I have questions."

The Batarian finished his scan and stepped to the side, allowing her to pass. Aria turned around, "Depends on the questions."

"You run Omega?"

Aria laughed, turning back toward the club and raising her hands. "I am Omega!" Grinning, she turned back. "But you need more. Everyone needs more something. And they all come to me. I'm the boss, CEO, queen if you're feeling dramatic. It doesn't matter. Omega has no titled ruler and only one rule."

Aria paused as she took a seat, settling into the sofa. "Don't fuck with Aria."

Rae grinned and nodded. "I like it, easy to remember."

"If you forget, someone will remind you."

The Batarian nodded. "And then I toss your sorry ass out of the nearest airlock."

"I'd like to see you try bastard!" Charles spoke up, swinging his gun around.

Rae turned and glared at him until Charles put his weapon away and walked off. Once she was sure he was under control, Rae took at seat and regarded the woman in front of her. Aria raised a brow but decided to let it go for now. "So, what can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for Mordin Solus. Do you know where I can find him?"

Aria raised a brow. "The Salarian doctor? Last I heard he was trying to help plague victims in the quarantine zone. I always liked Mordin. He's as likely to heal you as he is to shoot you."

"What can you tell me about him?"

"Use to be part of the Salarian Special Tasks Group. He's brilliant and dangerous. Just don't get him talking. He never shuts up." Aria shook her head. "If you really need to find him take a shuttle to the quarantine zone. No guarantee they'll let you in, of course."

Rae nodded, standing up. "Thanks for the information. Seems I have a plaque to cure."

"Yes. Just try not to bring the plaque back with you."

* * *

It had taken some fast talking and display of aggression but Rae gained access to the quarantine zone. It didn't take then long to find the first victim. He was on the ground, struggling to breath. "Human. Should have guessed. Bad enough you infect us with this plague. Now you lack the decency to even wait until I die before you come to steal my possessions."

Rae knelt down, fighting the urge to end his misery. She had never held any love for the Batarians and probably never would. But when she thought about putting a bullet in his brain Liara face came to mind. She could still remember that fear on the Asari's face when Rae had almost killed the Captain on Noveria. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

The Batarian pointed his weapon at her. "Get away from me human! Your kind has done too much already! Your plague did this to me. Your feigned pity is the final insult."

"I say good riddance." Charles growled out. "Let him suffer."

Rae ignored him, "I need to find Mordin Solus."

"Humans looking for the human sympathizer. I hope the Vorcha burn Mordin and his clinic to the ground." He struggled to breath, his cough getting worse. "I hope you…. I hope…. Damn it. Damn you. Can't…"

"Hey stay with me!" Rae knelt beside him and administered medigel. "This won't cure the plaque but it might help a bit."

"What the hell Raegan. He's a fucking Batarian!"

"Shut your mouth Freeman! I'm in command and I make the choices." Rae growled a warning as the Batarian slowly rose to his feet.

"You.. You helped me. Why?"

Rae frowned, trying to figure it out herself. "I need information and you seem to know it."

They spoke a little longer as Charles became restless behind her. When she had everything she thought she needed, Rae let the man rest and headed down the hall. She only got a few feet before Charles growled and shoved her against the wall.

"Batarians Raegan! You helping the fucking insects as well?"

Rae growled and shoved him off. "You need to calm down."

"Calm down! You just helped a Batarian! The swill of the universe. The garbage that ruined everything you held dear and destroyed me." He stepped forward again, getting close. "I won't go around helping those bastards!"

Rae grabbed him and shoved him against the wall, arm pressed against his neck. She leaned in close and spoke softly. "I hold no love for the Batarians Freeman. I know exactly what they are and what they did. But I will not stoop to hurting innocent people. You will follow my orders and get the fuck off my ship. Is that understood?"

When he didn't reply, Rae pressed harder. "Freeman."

"Okay…" Charles whispered out and coughed when Rae released him.

Rae turned to Miranda, eyes narrowed. "Do you have something to say?"

Miranda shook her head. "You're in Command."

"That's fucking right I am. Now move out."

* * *

"Mordin Solus?" Rae asked as they stepped into the lab.

Mordin stepped forward, scanning her before speaking quickly. "Hmm. Don't recognize you from area. Too well armed to be refugees. No mercenary uniform. Quarantine still in effect. Here for something else. Vorcha? Crew to clean them out? Unlikely. Vorcha a symptom, not a cause. The plague? Investigating, possible use as bio weapon? No. Too many guns, not enough data equipment. Solders, not scientists. Yes yes… Hired guns, maybe?

Rae raised her hand, interrupting him. "Relax Mordin. I'm Commander Shepard and I came here to find you. I'm on a critical mission and I need your help."

Mordin raised eyebrows in surprise. "Mission? What mission? No, no no. Too busy. Clinic understaffed. Plague spreading too fast. Who sent you?" He knelt down, working under the table.

Rae stepped forward so that she could see him. "It's a covert and privately funded human group."

Mordin stood quickly, causing her take a step back. "Related to plague? Doesn't affect humans. Human centric interest. Few human groups would know me. Equipment suggest military origin. Not Alliance standard. Spectres not human. Terra Firma too unstable. Only one option. Cerberus sent you. Unexpected."

Rae couldn't help but grin, impressed at his skill. "You're very well informed. How did a Salarian scientist hear about Cerberus?"

"Crossed paths on occasion. Thought they only worked with humans. Why request Salarian aid?"

She sighed, a slight smile on her lips. There was no use hiding it from him. She already experience his problem solving skills. He'd find it out sooner or later. "The Collectors are kidnapping entire human populations. We're going to find out why and stop them."

"Collectors, interesting." Mordin narrowed his eyes in thought. "Plague hitting these slums is engineered. Collects one of few groups with technology to design it. Our goals may be similar." He nodded then shook his head. "But must stop plague first. Already have cure. Need to distribute it at environmental control center. Vorcha guarding it. Need to kill them."

"Just once I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say, 'Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached.'"

* * *

Rae cursed as she ducked back behind the pillar. It shook as the rocket flew by and collided with the end of the hall. They'd turned on one of the fans already and the last one was a few yards away. However there was a couple Vorcha wielding rocket launchers and one with suspicious looking tanks on its back guarding the way. They had already cleared out the rest of the room but these last few were secure in their placement.

"Freeman, can you get a shot on those tanks?" She called out, peaking out from cover again.

"If you can distract those rockets for a few seconds."

Rae nodded and ducked back. "Lawson, how are your biotics?"

"I'm ready Commander."

Rae pulled out her shot gun and took a couple breaths. "Lawson, cover me. Freeman, take those tanks out."

She stepped out of cover and, with a war cry, charged at the first Vorcha. Her barrier blasts out, pushing her assailants back, while her shotgun fired it's first shot. She heard Charles affirmative and ducked behind cover just in time. The Vorcha's tanks blew, taking out him and a few of his buddies. Miranda wrapped the remaining one and put a bullet through his brain.

"Clear." Charles called out, stepping out.

"Good work." Rae grinned and waved Miranda toward the controls. "Get the fans working and lets go."

"Commander." EDI called out. "Reports on Archangel just came in. He's under fire and it's recommended that you reach him quickly."

"Shit!" Rae cursed, remembering the dossier. Reports had indicated that he was a fantastic shot and highly recommended for the team. She had tagged him for pick up after Mordin was secure but time tables changed. "Lawson. Escort Mordin to the ship and get him settled. EDI, have Taylor meet me at Afterlife."

"Right away Commander."


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: Oh baby it's moving now. Funny what I can do when I'm not stressed, sick, or distracted. Thank you for all your patience guys, I really appreciate it.

-brittsis

* * *

Rae hurried up the stairs, pushing past the guards that tried to block her way. "What do you know about Archangel?"

"Busy aren't you?" Aria smirked, crossing her legs and leaning back in her sofa.

"I don't have time for bullshit." Rae growled.

Aria nodded, "You don't. Do you want him dead too?"

"Why's everyone after him?"

"He thinks he's fighting on the side of good. There's no good side to Omega." Aria explained. "Everything he does pisses someone off. It's catching up to him. You're going to make some enemies teaming up with Archangel."

"They can get in line." Rae stepped closer, ignoring the looks from Aria's guards. "Where can I find him?"

"You're interesting Shepard. Only reason you haven't been shot." Aria grinned. "The local merc groups have joined forces to take him down. They've got him cornered, but it sounds like they're having trouble finishing him off. They've started hiring anybody with a gun to help them."

"Use them to find him and double cross them. Sounds like a plan." Rae spoke her thoughts aloud with a nod.

"They're using a private room for recruiting…" Aria waved over her shoulder. "just over there. I'm sure they'll sign you up."

"Thanks Aria." Rae spun around and hurried down the stairs.

She waved Charles and Jacob over as she headed for the merc guarding the room. "I hear you're recruiting."

The Batarian gave her a quick look before nodding. "Hmm. Why don't you step inside?"

"Play along," She whispered to the others while stepping into the room.

"Who's next?" The Batarian asked while he finished keying in the information. Looking up, he grinned at her. "Well aren't you sweet? You're in the wrong place, honey. Strippers' quarters are that way."

Charles growled, stepping forward. Rae stopped him and pulled her gun out. "Show me yours, tough guy. I bet mine's bigger."

The Batarian nodded. "Impressive. So you're here to fight then?"

Rae nodded, "Sure, if this is the place to go after Archangel."

"This is the place. Standard fee is five hundred credits each. You get paid when the job's done. If you die, your friends don't collect your share. You'll need your own weapons and armor…" He paused to examine her. "Looks like you've got that covered. And no, this does not make you a member of the Blue Suns, Eclipse, or the Blood Pack. You are a freelancer. Period. Any questions?"

"Where do I go?" Rae asked.

"Just head over to the transport depot outside the club. One of our boys will take you from there." He instructed. "Send in the next one."

Rae turned to leave but stopped as a young boy walked in. She frowned, turning back around. "You look a little young to be freelancing as a merc."

The kid frowned at her. "I'm old enough. I grew up on Omega. I know how to us a gun."

"So does Archangel." Jacob spoke up beside her.

"I can handle myself." He spat out angrily. He reached into the back of his pants and pulled out a pistol. "Besides, I just spent 50 credits on this pistol and I wanna use it!"

Rae growled, rushing him. "Get your money back."

She yanked the weapon from his hand and hit the side of it hard. The firing mechanism jammed as he yelled at her. Handing it back, she spoke slowly. "Trust me kid. You'll thank me later."

He looked like he was about to cry but Rae left it at that. They were half way out of the club before Charles stepped beside her and spoke. "You once ordered kids younger than him armed."

Rae frowned, "I've changed since then Freeman. And there's no reason for the kid to fight."

* * *

They spoke to each of the leaders, learning their plan. One by one Rae started to put the pieces together. If they were to get out of this alive, they'd need all the help they could get. Including rewiring the mechs to attack their owners. She had intended to destroy them but Charles had surprised her by changing their friend and foe tags. Now Rae stood to the side and watched as Archangel picked off his assailants one by one. She had to admit he was a good shot.

"I hope he realizes we're here to help." Charles whispered beside her. "I don't fancy getting my head blown off."

She leaned out for a second before ducking back. "He'll figure it out soon enough."

"Shouldn't we be finding your Batarian buddy?"

Rae growled and tightened her hands into fists. "You need to learn to control your feelings Freeman. I won't be having it clouding up your judgment."

"I won't ever let it go."

"Then we're going to have some problems." Rae glared at him. "We'll talk afterwards."

She stepped into the line of fire only to have a round collide with her shoulder. Cursing, she hit the ground and rolled to the other side. The bastard had hit her, bringing her shields down. Jacob and Charles called her name but she waved them off. "I'm fine. Stay there."

"Raegan.."

"I said stay there!" Rae yelled out when Charles took a step forward. Getting to her feet, she walked toward the group huddled there. "Cathka?"

The group pointed toward a Batarian working on a gunship. He stopped welding and turned to her, lighting him face sheild. "Sergeant Cathka. Ah… You must be part of the group Salkie mentioned. You're just in time."

"Salkie?" Rae asked with a raised brow.

"You met him when you were dropped off. He radioed to say you were coming. Your group kinda stands out from most of the other freelancers. Anyway.. The infiltration teams is about to give us the signal. Archangel won't know what hit him. Got any questions? This may be your last chance."

Rae watched him lay down the welding gun and light a smoke. She narrowed her eyes and waived the smoke away. "Are you leading the assault?"

He laughed. "Tarak doesn't pay me to fight. I just plan the attack and fix the damn gunship. You freelancers get the privilege of …"

"Target in sight. We're a go." The computer spoke up beside him, interrupting.

Cathka cursed. "Check. Bravo team… go, go go!" He turned back to her. "Archangel's got quite a surprise waiting for him. But that means no more waiting for me."

He darkened his visor and ducked back under the wing. "Gotta get her back to a hundred percent before Tarak decides he needs her again."

Rae frowned, looking down at the table. Picking up the welder, she walked over to him and clapped his back. "You work too hard." Using all her strength, she shoved the tool into his back and killed him.

* * *

Archangel had kept from shooting them again. Rae ordered her team to spread out and shoot the other freelancers down before they could advance too far. Using her assault rifle, she picked off another guy and ran up the stairs. "Hey!" She called out to the guy hacking the door. He startled and turned toward her. "Too slow."

He fell, clearing the room. Waving to Jacob and Charles, Rae opened the door and walked in. Putting her hands up, she nodded to him. "Archangel?"

He held up a finger while finishing a shot. Then slowly sat on the sofa and removed his helmet. Rae grinned while he spoke, "Shepard. I thought you were dead."

"Garrus!" Rae hurried over, grabbing his hand in a rough shake as she patted his shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"Just keeping my skills sharp. A little target practice."

Rae shook her head, "You okay?"

Garrus shrugged. "Been better, but it sure is good to see a friendly face. Killing mercs is hard work. Especially on my own."

Rae chuckled softly and leaned against a couple of boxes. "How'd you manage to piss off every major merc organizations in the Terminus Systems?"

Garrus grinned, his mandibles twitching. "It wasn't easy. I really had to work at it. I am amazed that they teamed up to fight me. They must really hate me."

"And Archangel?" Rae asked with a raised brow and a grin on her lips.

He shrugged. "It's just a name the locals gave me. For all my good deeds." Garrus chuckled. "I don't mind it, but please… its just 'Garrus' to you."

"I don't know." Rae grinned. "I kinda like it."

He gave her a look and shook his head, causing her to laugh. "You nailed me once by the way."

"Concussive rounds only. No harm done. Didn't want the mercs getting suspicious."

"Uh huh."

He grinned at her. "If I wanted to do more than take your shields down, I'd have done it. Besides, you were taking your sweet time. I needed to get you moving."

Rae chuckled softly while shaking her head. "Well, we got here. But I don't think getting out will be as easy."

Garrus shook his head. "No it won't. That bridge has saved my life.. Funneling all those witless idiots into scope. But it works both ways. They'll slaughter us if we try to get out that way."

Charles frowned, stepping forward. "So we just sit here and wait for them to take us out?"

Garrus looked at Rae who shook her head. She'd explain later. "It's not all bad. This place has held them off so far. And with the three of you… I suggest we hold this location, wait for a crack in their defenses, and take our chances. It's not a perfect plan, but it's a plan."

Rae nodded. "If we fight as a team, we'll hold them off."

"You're right. Their numbers won't help them in here, anyway. Let's see what they're up to.." Garrus returned to the window, Rae behind him. He pulled the scope back up and frowned. "Hmm… looks like they know their infiltration team failed."

He handed her the rifle and gestured out the window. "Take a look. Scouts, Eclipse I think."

Rae pulled the scope up and spotted them men climbing over the barrier. She lined up a shot and pulled the trigger, killing one. "One less now."

"Indeed. We better get ready."

* * *

"Shepard, we need help!" Jacob called over the comm as Rae closed the last blast door.

"We're on the way." Rae answered and started running back. "What's going on?"

"Reinforcements broke through. The Blood Pack are breaking down the door."

Rae cursed as she bounded up the stairs two at a time. Charles ran behind her, breathing heavy as he reloaded his assault rifle. The pushed through the door and took down the two guards blocking the entrance.

"Charles, cover me!" She ordered as her biotics came alive and she charged across the room. The mercs were surprised and died before they could react. She jumped over the sofa and threw a shockwave at the group coming through the door.

Charles threw a couple grenades while ducking into cover. "I've got you." He yelled out before leaning out and peppering the crowd with bullets.

Rae nodded and ran up the stairs. Two Krogan roared at her as she unloaded her shotgun into the closest one. The merc charged towards her and she stood her ground. Right before he collided with her, Rae charged up her biotics and collided with him. They were both thrown back, dazed for a second.

"Raegan!" Charles called out from the bottom floor.

"I'm fine." She called back as she got back to her feet. The Krogan lay motionless but his buddy swung his rifle towards her. Rae's barrier flared as they absorbed the bullets but threatened to fail.

"I'm coming.."

"Watch my back." She ordered the former marine as she rolled behind cover. Switching her weapon out, she leaned out from cover and squeezed the trigger. "Garrus, I could use an overload."

"Little busy." The Turian grunted but did it anyways.

The Krogan's shields failed and Rae warped his armor off. Charles swung onto the landing and peppered him with holes until he dropped. Rae growled as she got to her feet. "I said to watch my back."

"And they are all dead." Charles growled back.

"You need to start following orders." Rae warned, her voice growing harsh.

"Not to interrupt." Garrus called out, "But Garm's got me pinned down."

Cursing, Rae hurried into the room and ran right at the Krogan battle master. "Hey Ugly!" She shouted, drawing his attention. Garrus popped up and overloaded his shields just as he received a face full of shotgun rounds.

Garm roared and grabbed her, throwing her across the room. Breath whooshed out of her as she collided with the wall. Charles yelled her name while Jacob circled around him. Garm laughed and lowered his head, preparing to charge. Gritting her teeth, she pulled out her knife.

"Come and get it." She yelled at him while silently ordering her team to fire. Little by little his armor failed and just before he reached her, he fell.

"Scopped and dropped." Garrus grinned as he stood from his cover.

"They have two hearts remember." Rae turned him over and pulled his armor off. "Only way to be sure is to remove them." She drove her knife into his chest and proceeded to cut it out.

"Where'd she learn that?" Jacob asked with a raised brow.

"An old friend." Garrus chuckled.

"We should get out of here while we can." Charles growled out as he shipped his weapon.

Rae nodded as she threw Garm's heart to the side and cleaned her knife off. "Only the Blue Suns left. I say we take out chance and fight our way out."

Garrus nodded. "I think you're right. Tarak's got the toughest group but nothing we haven't faced before. Besides, he won't be expecting us to meet him head on…"

He was interrupted by a gun ship breaking the glass and opening fire. Rae yelled for everyone to take cover and she ducked behind a sofa.

"Damn it! I thought I took that thing out already!" Garrus yelled from his cover.

"So did I!" Rae called back.

"Use the rocker launcher." Charles yelled. "They're off loading troops on the lower floors."

Rae cursed as she pulled the large gun off her back. "Taylor, Freeman, take those troops out."

"More up here." Garrus leaned out from cover and took two out with his rifle."

Rae set the launcher aside and pulled her assault rifle out. "We'll take them. Just keep your eye out for that gunship!"

Garrus lined up another shot while Rae covered his back with her biotics and gunfire. She threw one back out the window and grinned as he yelled for help. The two of them set up a rhythm, calling their kills and falling back into old habits. It wasn't long until they were keeping score like old times.

"All Clear," Charles called out.

"Same," Jacob answered.

"Where'd the gun ship go?" Rae stood from cover, scanning the windows.

"No sign of it." Garrus answered, his rifle swinging from window to window.

"Archangel!" Tarak called out as the gunship came into sight. Everyone turned and Rae ran back to her rocket launcher. "You think you can screw with the Blue Suns! This ends now!"

Rae pulled up the gun just as Tarak fired the main gun and hit Garrus. She froze as he fell, not moving. "Garrus!"

She could hear Tarak laughing as the ship swung to her. Charles called her name as she stood, taking aim. "You fucking asshole!"

"Shepard!" Jacob threw out a barrier as they both fired. Her rocket collided with the ship and she was thrown back as the barrier broke.

Charles pulled a couple grenades from his belt and ran for the window. Just as the broken cockpit came into distance, he chucked them in. The gunship blew and fell out of sight. Rae pushed to her feet and limped over to Garrus. "You better not be dead." She cursed, pulling off her glove so she could feel for a pulse.

Garrus's eyes popped open and he gasped for breath. Rae immediately started applying medigel as she gave orders. "We're getting you out of here. Just hang on. Charles, radio Joker. Make sure they're ready for us."

"Rae…"

"Just do it!" She yelled at him.


	5. Chapter 5

Rae tried to concentrate, she really did. But every time she tried to listen to Jacob and Charles her mind would wander to the med bay and the surgery taking place. Miranda, Chakwas, and Mordin has taken Garrus and locked the doors, keeping her from standing guard. She'd been prepared to pace the mess hall and wait but the these two had other ideas. They needed to go over mission reports and make a decision on where to go next. It couldn't wait, colonists were disappearing everyday and the longer they dawdled the more that went missing.

Rae frowned as she made herself read the report in front of her. Before Saren, before the original Normandy, before everything Rae wouldn't have allowed it to distract her. She was responsible for her crew, yes. But they knew what they signed up for and the dangers they faced everyday. For the longest time she'd been so distant, cold. Then she joined the Normandy's crew and Liara…

She quickly shut that line of thought off and rose from her seat. Growling softly, she started pacing around the room while Jacob and Charles watched her.

Jacob picked up a data pad and entered his access codes. "Commander, I have an update from the doc."

Rae stopped and turned to him. "What?"

"Garrus took a bad hit." Jacob answered, reading from the report. "The docs corrected with surgical procedure and some cybernetics. They've been out of surgery for a while and it looks like he'll have full functionality but…"

The doors opened and the subject of their discussion walked into the room. He nodded at them, leaning against the wall. "Shepard."

Charles whistled low. "Tough son of a bitch."

Rae frowned, unsure how to react just yet. She was happy to see him up and walking but she was mostly certain that Chakwas hadn't cleared him.

Garrus pushed from the wall and walked further into the room. "Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?"

Rae sighed and shook her head. "Hell Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face paint on there and no one will even notice."

He laughed and flinched at the pain. "Don't make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is. Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are Krogan."

Charles grinned, "Human woman are the same. Says it makes you look mysterious and strong."

Jacob frowned but didn't comment, instead saluting Rae and beckoning Charles to follow. Once they had left, Garrus sighed. "Frankly, I'm more worried about you. Cerberus Shepard? You remember those sick experiments they were doing?"

Rae sighed, allowing her shoulders to sink. "That's why I'm glad you're here Garrus. If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I trust at my side."

"You realize this plan has me walking into hell too." He chuckled and shook his head. "Just like old times. I'm fit for duty whenever you need me Shepard. I'll settle in and see what I can do at the forward batteries."

* * *

The Normandy docked with little trouble. Citadel port authority only questioned their motives briefly before giving them clearance. Shore leave had been assigned and her ground crew had been picked. Garrus stood beside her, mandibles tight as he watched her reactions. Charles had gone to the desk and started getting their clearance put through. Rae stood on the docks and looked at the new additions. Security was tight but there wasn't much difference. It was as if Sovereign never happened.

"Did they listen? Take any of my advice?" Rae spoke softly, trying to hold off the anger.

"At first they did. You were a hero. Then.." Garrus shook his head. "The Council said you were mistaken. That Saren had used the Geth, playing on their religion."

Rae suddenly felt really tired. "Was any of it worth it? Why fight when the galaxy didn't want saving? I sacrifice so much Garrus and they…"

Garrus patted her shoulder and shook his head. "It will work out in the end Shepard. It always does."

Rae sighed and decided to keep the rest of her thoughts to herself. She'd think about it later, when she was in the privacy of her own cabin. Doubt wasn't to be shared with her crew. It was to be hidden away, kept from those she was suppose to inspire. "Let's go see what Anderson has to say."

Rae went in by herself. If all went as planed and she received the support she needed, Rae didn't want the news reaching the ship. It all would depend on how this meeting would conclude. Taking a deep breath she entered the room and took quick inventory of the room, spotting Anderson and the Council on their holograms. The new Councilor greeted her with a smile and Rae couldn't help but grin back. "It's been a long time Anderson. I hope the last couple years have treated you right."

"There's been some rough spots. It's good to have you back."

"We've heard many rumors surrounding your unexpected return. Some of them are… unsettling." The Salarian Councilor interrupted, pulling their attention away.

The Asari nodded, "We called this meeting so you could explain your actions Shepard. We owe you that much. After all, you saved our lives in the battle against Saren and his Geth."

"It's hard to explain and a little hard to understand. Even I don't know the all the details." Rae spoke up, stepping forward.

"Then start from the beginning." Anderson replied.

"I was killed when the Normandy attacked." Rae began, frowning as she pulled the memories forward. "My suit suffered damage and my oxygen was running out fast. My last memory was struggling to fix the leak while the planet came closer and closer. Then I woke up in a Cerberus lab, being shot at by mechs."

"So the rumors are correct." The Turian growled. "You are with Cerberus now."

"No." Rae spoke quickly, just barely keeping her anger in check. "The Collectors are abducting human colonists in the Terminus Systems. Worse, we think they're working for the Reapers. Cerberus offered support and I am only using their funds. Supply me with a ship and a crew and I will turn over any data and personnel currently in my possession."

The Turian shook his head. "The Terminus Systems are beyond our jurisdiction. Your colonists knew this when they left Council Space."

Anderson stepped forward, speaking up. "You're missing the important part Councilor. The Reapers are involved."

"As yes 'Reapers' The immortal race of sentient star ships waiting in dark space." He waved his talons with a shake of his head. "We have dismissed that claim."

Rae growled, her fists tightening as rage filled her. "What?! Did you not see the Reaper that knocked on your fucking door? He tore your fleets apart and almost brought all his buddies here. What do you fucking mean you dismiss that claim?!"

Anderson grabbed her shoulder, giving it a gentle tug as he tried to calm her down. "Shepard, no one else encountered the hologram on Ilos that told you the truth about the Reapers. Only you and your crew ever spoke with Sovereign. I believe you. But without evidence from another source, the others think Saren was behind the Geth attacks."

Shepard pulled from Anderson's hand. "Go back to Ilos and talk to Vigil. Or just look at what's left of Sovereign. It's obvious the technology is more advanced than ours!"

The Salarian shook his head. "The hologram on Ilos is no longer functional and we have found nothing to suggest the Sovereign was not a Geth creation."

"The Geth are capable of remarkable technological achievements. This is probably why Saren recruited them." The Asari added on.

The Turian Councilor grinned. "This Reaper theory proves just how fragile your mental state is. You have been manipulated - by Cerberus and, before them, by Saren."

Her anger built as they spoke, causing her biotics to shimmer. She growled at them, just barely keeping from shouting. "I kept Saren from conquering the Citadel. I sacrificed human lives to save this Council. And now you're calling me an idiot and a tool. Well fuck you!"

The Asari Councilor shook her head sadly. "We are in a difficult position Shepard. You are working for Cerberus, an avowed enemy of the Council. This is treason, a capital offense."

"I am only using them because you won't fucking help me!" Rae spat.

Anderson grabbed her arm, pulling her back as he stepped forward. "That is too far. Shepard is a hero. I'm on this Council too and I won't let this whitewash continue."

She sighed, "Maybe there is a compromise. Not a public acknowledgement, given your ties, but something to show peripheral support."

The Turian Council stood straight, his arms behind his back. "Shepard, if you keep a low profile and restrict your operations to the Terminus, the Council is willing to offer you reinstatement as a Spectre."

Rae growled, prepared to tell them where they could shove their Spectre status. Then Anderson stepped in front of her, blocking her from them. "She accepts."

The Asari nodded. "Good luck with your investigation Shepard. We hope for quick resolution… and a quick end to your relationship with Cerberus."

The holograms went blank and Anderson relaxed. "Well that went better than I expected. You realize the Council's offer is just symbolic. They won't actually do anything."

"Then help me Anderson. The Alliance has the resources I need, just make them available." Rae pleaded with him.

He shook his head. "Sorry but I'm having enough trouble pushing reforms to get us ready for the Reapers. They won't accept your story and it will take months to get you cleared for duty."

"So in other words, I'm stuck." Rae grumbled, suddenly wanting a drink. She cursed while rubbing hard at her face, furious at her predicament.

The doors opened and in walked the last person she wanted to see. Udina started talking before he even fully entered. "Anderson, we need to talk about - Shepard, what are you doing here?"

Rae groaned, fighting back the urge to hit him. Instead she decided to be a jerk. "Surprise! I came back to make your life hell. Did you miss me?"

Anderson coughed, trying to hide the chuckle that threatened to emerge. "I invited Shepard here to speak with the Council. We just finished our meeting."

Udina's eyes went wide, jaw slack in horror. "You what? Councilor, do the words political shit-storm mean anything to you?"

"Would you pull that stick out of your ass and calm down?" Rae asked sarcastically. "Last I checked, Anderson was the Councilor and the meeting went fine. They reinstated my Spectre status and I'll stay in the Terminus Systems."

He glared at her briefly before deciding to ignore her. "I could see how that arrangement would work best for both sides. But you really shouldn't have take a step like this without consulting with me first Councilor."

Anderson frowned. "I don't answer to you Udina. Why don't you go to your office and think about that for a while?"

"Of course Councilor." Udina spat out between his teeth. "Good day to both of you."

Udina left the room and Anderson shook his head. "Sorry about that. Udina's never gotten over the fact that I got the Council position instead of him. Sometimes I need to put him in his place."

"You should just get rid of him."

He shook his head. "He's got his uses. And if you want something done on the Citadel, he knows who can make it happen. Plus, he's always happy to attend all those formal diplomatic functions I can't be bothered with."

Rae nodded, leaning against the balcony railing. They stood in silence for a couple minutes, both unsure where to go from here. Rae had always respected Anderson and he respected her as well. But two years was a long time and many things change in that time. Neither wanted to bring up the past and the future was too hard to think about. Too much hung in the balance.

Finally it was Anderson that spoke up. "I'm glad you're back Shepard. Things are getting bad and we need leaders like you."

Rae sighed, "What about Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko? He showed great potential on the original Normandy and I put that recommendation in for his promotion."

"He's Staff Commander now but he's not you." Anderson shook his head.

"Where is he now? My sources weren't able to tell me."

"Sorry Commander but he's on a classified mission. As long as you're with Cerberus we can't…" Anderson explained, letting the remainder being left unsaid.

"If you see him, let him…" Rae paused, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. "Just tell him there's always room on my crew."

Anderson nodded. "It's been good seeing you again Shepard. I'm sorry I couldn't do more."

* * *

She couldn't believe it. After all the evidence, the artifacts, and even Sovereign the council still decided to deny everything. They'd rather hide under their blankets and pretend that the boogey man didn't exist than admit they were wrong. Even Anderson had given up. It was easier to sweep it under the carpet and forget the problem. Now humanity was disappearing by the colony and the only one willing to do anything about it was Cerberus. Rae hated to admit it but she needed the Illusive Man and his funds to save the universe.

Growling Rae pounded her frustrations into the punching bag. Everything she had worked for was gone now. Her plans, her team, her love… Rae screamed as biotics bathed her fists. She let loose, sending warps at the bag causing it to twist and bend out of shape. It couldn't take much of her abuse and ended up torn to shreds around her. Her breathing was ragged and sweat coated her skin as she stood still. Rae closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down, putting a firm lid on her pain.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she reacted without thought. She flipped the intruder over and onto the gym floor. Rae planted her knee onto his chest and was reaching for her pistol all in one motion. It wasn't until he cursed that she recognized Charles. Something tugged inside her but she quickly shut that down. Rae wouldn't allow past emotions to cloud her judgment. He was Cerberus now, an enemy to watch carefully. "What are you doing Freeman?"

He smiled up at her, placing his hands behind his head. His right arm looked more human now that he was out of his armor. It was covered in synthetic skin that stretched over the metallic parts.

"Spill it!" Rae growled and put more weight on her leg.

"You're faster now." He grinned. "And stronger. I'll have to remember that. How are you doing Raegan?"

Rae frowned, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "Only friends and superiors get to asked that question."

His smile disappeared. "We were more than friends before."

"That was before you joined Cerberus." She spat and pushed away from him. "You made a deal with the devil Freeman. Did you not think about your family? How would your mother feel about you working for terrorists?"

"So it's okay if you accept their help but not if you do?"

"It's not the same! I had no choice!"

"And neither did I!" Charles stood and advanced on her. His right hand grabbed her wrist and tightened in an iron grip. "Those filthy Batarians took everything from me and the Alliance did nothing! Oh sure they offered their condolences and a replacement arm but it wasn't enough. They wouldn't give me what I wanted… no needed!"

Rae raised her chin, eyes watching him carefully. "What? A chance to fight? Something to shoot at? You're mother is a god damn Admiral now Freeman. She could find you a post anywhere you could have wanted. Hell if you had called me I could've pulled some strings. There was options."

"I didn't want to fight. Goddamn it Raegan." He grabbed her neck with his other hand and pulled her in. His lips possessed her. He used his tongue and teeth until she reacted, returning the kiss. He released her wrist and pushed her against the bulkhead, his knee wedging between her legs.

Rae growled in warning and fisted his uniform, unsure if it was to push him away or pull him closer. His lips left her mouth and trailed to her neck. She groaned and leaned her head to the side, giving him more room. He grinned against her neck as his fingers pulled her top from her pants, lifting the hem. His fingers touched her fevered skin and Rae suddenly realized what was going on.

"Stop!" Rae pushed him away, eyes glaring daggers.

Charles cursed, "It's been two years! She's moved on, reports said as much."

Rae closed her eyes, remembering the data pad the Illusive Man had forwarded to her. It had data about everyone one of her old crew. Their whereabouts and actions for the last two years. She wasn't content with it though, determined to search them out. But Liara… the data had been clear. She was an information broker, working for the Shadow Broker. Reports showed that she was involved with a Drell, having moved on. Rae could accept everything but her profession. Liara knew her disgust with the Shadow Broker and yet she joined him anyways. It felt like a betrayal, a slap in the face. Rae needed answers, she needed to hear from the woman herself before she could have any closure.

"Raegan, I'm here and I never stopped lo…"

Rae cut him off with a growl before turning around and leaving. She'd go to her cabin and take a long shower. Afterwards she'd crawl into bed and try to get some sleep.

* * *

Rae poured herself another and swirled the liquid in the glass. She was on her second bottle and could just begin to feel it's numbing effects. Thoughts and memories still flooded her mind as she began to wonder how much it would take to get completely sloshed. She normally wasn't a heavy drinker, usually reserving it to times that the memories became to bad. Mindoir, Elysium, and Torfan all weighed heavily on her and at times had become too much. Then she encountered the beacons and the horrors held within. She wouldn't have been able to handle it if it hadn't been for that one light. Liara had been a cool ointment on her life, slowly healing all the pain that lingered inside her. The woman had dulled the scars inside her and now…

Rae lifted the glass to her lips and emptied the content in one gulp. She had foolishly tried to sleep, thinking that the nightmares would stay away. Instead she had been terrorized with visions of her death while the Reapers took everything that ever mattered. She'd woken in cold sweats and couldn't stand the large empty cabin. So she'd come down to the lounge and decided to self medicate. It wasn't working as well as she thought.

"Couldn't sleep either Shepard?" Garrus sat down beside her, reaching for some Turian brandy.

"I slept long enough. Besides every time I close my eyes I see…" Rae frowned as she poured herself another drink.

He nodded as he poured himself a glass. "I see my team. Their dead eyes watching me, accusing me. They demand answers I can't give them. They demand retribution that I can't give them… not yet."

Rae sipped at her glass, considering his words. He told her everything, looking for some kind of advice. She couldn't give him much. The fallen still haunted her at times, ghosts that whispered doubt and pity.

They drank in silence for a few minutes, both keeping their eyes forward. Garrus poured his third glass and Rae reached for another bottle. He frowned but decided not to stop her. Instead he tried to reassure her. "She loved you Shepard."

Rae's eyes narrowed, "Not now Garrus."

"No, I think you need to hear this."

"I wouldn't if I was you Vakarian."

Garrus watched her, considering his next words carefully. Her hands were tight on the glass, near shattering it. He could just barely see the blue shimmer of her biotics and her face was twisted in pain. He almost shut up but he feared he wouldn't have the courage later. "We all missed you and we all grieved. But Liara…. She took it the hardest. The first week she just shut down, refused everything. We all feared she would need hospitalization."

"Vakarian…."

"No, you need to hear this." Garrus growled back. "Wrex took responsibility for her, becoming her body guard as soon as she arrived on the Citadel. Then the Alliance quit looking for your body and declared you dead. The announcement seemed to wake something up in her, at least until your service. She broke down, couldn't even stand. Wrex had to hold on to her so she could accept your flag. We all wanted to help but…"

He stopped for a moment, taking a gulp of his brandy. "I can't speak for the others but her pain was too much. I would look at her and feel that I failed you somehow. That if I'd been on the Normandy I'd have helped you rescue Joker and you'd be alive. I couldn't stand being around her. A couple days after your funeral something changed in her though. Suddenly she messaged me, asking for my help in finding you. I tried to deter her, begged her to let you rest. But she wouldn't relent. It was a couple weeks later that we quit talking then a few more before I left for Omega."

Garrus itched at his bandage, his uninjured mandible twitching. "What I was trying to get at was that she loved you Shepard, more than anyone could love a person. Don't give up on her, not yet. There has to be an explanation."

Raegan stared at her glass, processing what he was saying. She wanted to find Liara, more than anything. But all her old contacts wouldn't believe she was alive and her new ones… Rae frowned at the idea of asking Miranda to locate Liara. She didn't trust the woman and something in her gut told her that the Illusive Man wasn't telling her the whole truth. "I don't know where to start Garrus."

Garrus sighed, happy that his words had come across right. "I have a few contacts in C-Sec still. I'll pay them a visit the next time we're at the Citadel."

Rae nodded and took another sip of her drink. "Thanks Garrus, for everything."

"Hey I've got your back Shepard. Both on the field and off it."


	6. Chapter 6

a/n: I'm happy everyone is enjoying the story so far. I hope to start updating more frequently. I've been so brain dead. I transferred programs at work and squeezed a seven week training program into 2 weeks. The proceeded into 2 weeks of monitored work. All done now and I'm going from 60hrs 6 days a week to 40hrs and 5 days a week. Thank god. Okay onto the story…

I never agreed with Zaeed's recruit mission. Rae would never take a mercenary that she meet while he was beating a defenseless person, Batarian or not. So I'm mixing things up a bit. Enjoy.

-brittsis

* * *

He tripled check the locks before making the call. If any of the crew should find out his secret, Raegan would toss his ass out the airlock. He knew that she'd be angry with him but it was his hope that she'd come to understand. He had no choice but to go through with it. Stepping onto the pad, he dialed the number and waited for the signal to come through. Slowly the image came to life and he snapped into attention.

"You're report is late." The Illusive Man spoke slowly, eyes narrowing. "I don't appreciate tardiness Chief Freeman."

"I apologize Sir. Things have been more difficult than previously thought." He answered without moving, eyes staring ahead.

The Illusive Man frowned while he took a long drag on his cigarette. "You assured us that you could handle the mission. Are you going back on our deal?"

"No Sir!" Charles answered quickly. "There has been some progress but she still fights me."

The Illusive Man considered this while he sipped his drink. "What do you believe to be the cause?"

"The Asari, Sir. It is clear that there is still some attachment there. I believe she needs a cleaner break, no cause to doubt your report."

"Hmmm." The Illusive Man stood from his chair, walking to the large glass windows behind him. "What do you suggest?"

"Let the Asari talk to her. Make her believe there is nothing left." Charles answered.

The Illusive Man shook his head. "That won't work. The Doctor has already been informed of your attachment, she wouldn't lie to the Commander."

"Then I need more time Sir."

"We don't have time." The Illusive Man replied, pulling up his Omni tool. "An associate will be joining the crew soon. When he does, an opportunity will present itself. The Commander's defenses will be down. Do not waste it."

"Yes Sir."

"And Charles," The Illusive Man turned back, glaring at him. "It is important that the Commander's loyalties change. Otherwise all may be lost."

* * *

They returned to Omega in pursuit of another possible crewmate. Cerberus had paid a merc large amounts of credits to join the crew. It grated against her but they needed all the help they could get. Reports showed the mercenary to be very talented with a rifle and a quick tactician. Rae had no choice but to bring the man aboard. Mordin and Miranda came with her. Mordin wanted to check on the clinic and Miranda knew the merc they were picking up.

"He should be by the bar." Miranda spoke up as they walked into Afterlife.

The club was alive, music and bodies filling the dance floor. Asari littered the stage and tables, receiving credit chits for their work. A Turian or two mingled with the customers, ready to rebuke anyone brave enough to go against Aria's rules. The bar was packed and four people deep, two bar tenders working busily to get everyone served.

"Bodies moving in unison, close together, mimicking mating rituals. The music hinders communication, encouraging close proximity in crowded atmosphere. The booths are contaminated with…"

Rae raised her hand, interrupting Mordin before he could give her a head ache. "It's a club Mordin. Some things are best unsaid."

"Of course Shepard." Mordin nodded his head. "I am going to visit the clinic, check on Daniel."

"Go ahead Mordin," She waved him away. "Just stay in radio contact."

Rae watched him leave before turning back to the bar. She had hoped to find the mercenary quickly. She should have known it would never be easy. "Miranda, circle the club. See if our target got distracted by the Asari."

"Yes Commander."

Taking a deep breath, Rae moved to the bar and elbowed her way in. She glared at anyone that dare complain, cutting them off with her appearance. Signaling the bar tender, she leaned in so he could hear her. "I'm looking for Massani. Human merc, ugly scar on one side of his face."

The Turian nodded, pulling out two glasses and a bottle. "He's at the table in the back, under Aria's platform. Said someone was coming for him. Asked that he send you over with this."

Rae nodded, placed some credits on the bar, and took the glasses and bottle, taking a glance at the label. It was old scotch, human and dated twenty years back. The man had taste, she had to admit. She elbowed her way back out and over to the table, quickly finding the man. Sitting down, she opened the bottle and poured them each a glass. "Zaeed Massani? I'm Commander Shepard."

The man nodded, taking the glass and knocking it back. He sat the glass back on the table and proceeded to refill it while he spoke. "About goddamn time you showed up. I was beginning to think Cerberus was going to renege on their deal. I hear we have a galaxy to save."

Rae followed his lead, emptying her glass as well. "From what I heard, Cerberus is paying you a large sum for your services."

Zaeed nodded, emptying his glass again. "I assume the Illusive Man told you about our arrangement."

Rae frowned, refilling his glass. "No. I guess he decided to leave that information out of the dossier."

"Good thing I asked." He swirled his drink before taking a sip this time. "Picked up a mission a little while back, just before I signed on with Cerberus. Thought you might be interested. You heard the name Vido Santiago? He's the head of the Blue Suns. Runs the whole organization."

He took another sip of his drink before continuing. "Seems he recently captured an Eldfell-Ashland refinery on Zorya and is using their workers for slave labor. The company wants it dealt with."

Rae considered this while she finished her drink. She knew there was no option but to help those people but she didn't want to seem eager to the veteran. She set the glass down and nodded her head. "We could swing by and help them."

"Good. Get it out of the way so we can concentrate on being big goddamn heroes." He refilled both their glasses and waved toward hers. "First we drink and enjoy the show."

* * *

Charles had seen the Commander drunk on several different occasion. Each time had brought a different result, all depending on the circumstances. Raegan was a different drunk every time. There was only one thing in common. When Raegan Shepard was drunk all her carefully constructed walls fell. She didn't second guess her thoughts and often reacted without thinking of the consequences. It was both a interesting and dangerous combination.

Miranda had called for help in escorting Massani and Shepard back to the ship. He and Jacob arrived in Afterlife to find the mercenary knocked out in the booth while Raegan accepted a lap dance from an Asari stripper. Jacob and Miranda had carried Zaeed back to the ship while he corralled the Commander out of the club. She had been quiet, a frown on her face while they waited in the lift. It wasn't she was in her cabin and sitting on the bed that she opened her mouth.

"I need to stop being friendly with the crew." She spoke carefully, frowning as she stumbled over the words. "It can't… I can't stand it happening again."

Charles frowned and went to kneel in front of her. "What happening?"

"Hurting someone." She shook her head when he tried to speak. "Every time I get close, someone else pays the price. First it was my brother. He died because I couldn't leave others behind. Then the rest of my family, killed because I tried to save them. Then Bodie, he…."

Rae sobbed as the memories took over. The words she'd be afraid to say. The feelings she couldn't recognized. It was all cut short because she was afraid to loose him. "I shouldn't have let him come with me. He wasn't trained and I still brought him with me."

"Raegan…" Charles tried to interrupt her.

She stood, pushing away from him. Her arms went around herself, hugging tight as she leaned against the wall. "I thought I was safe then, locked up tight. Then you came around. It all came back and I was afraid again. Then you were gone, taken from me. I fought for you, killed every one of those goddamn bastards. It wasn't enough though. You were broken and the doctors gave me a choice."

Raegan turned back to him, eyes damp with tears. "See it's my fault you're here now, attached with Cerberus. I left because I thought you'd be safe. I ran away because I couldn't face you and what you represented. It took me years but I finally stitched myself together. I was a cold distant person before the Normandy. Got the job done and got out, no strings. Then I walked into a Prothean ruin and found the most pure and innocent creature left in the universe. I didn't know it then but…"

"You don't have to say it." Charles rose to his feet, walking to her. "You're drunk and don't know what you're saying."

"I'm not drunk!" She growled, stepping away from him. "This god forsaken body won't let me! Do you know how much alcohol I just drank? How many bottles I've emptied since I woke up? I just want to forget and I can't!"

He frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Miranda said my already high metabolism would be higher. That the nanites mixed with my biotics would burn through everything really quickly. The fuckers burn off the alcohol faster than I can consume it!" Rae explained, near yelling. "My life was near perfect and I screwed it up. I just want to block the memories but all I can achieve is a small buzz that wears off quickly."

She backed against the wall and slid down, pulling her legs close and laying her forehead on her knees. Charles sat down beside her, brows furrowed together in thought. They sat in silence for several minutes. He wanted to help but didn't know how to start. So he just started talking. "When they took me from the base they tried to break me. Some argued that I was too strong willed, that it be better to kill me. But one, he wanted me alive. Took me as a challenge, a test on his skill. I don't remember when he succeeded. I don't remember when I finally lost my mind."

He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "My last memory, before waking up, was being strapped to a chair as they cut deeper and deeper into my arm. Each centimeter I was given a choice. 'Submit or lose it human.' That statement every time. Next thing I remember clearly is sitting in a room talking with a stranger. He kept telling me I was safe and home. He helped me at first, slowly bringing the human back. The nightmares became bare able because of him and what helped was talking about it. So tell me. Tell me about her."

Rae hesitated at first. She stayed silent as he watched her, not saying a word. He patiently waited, pure curiosity on his face. There was no malice or trickery in his eyes. She opened her mouth and before she knew it Rae spilled everything. She told him about Eden Prime and the fight to save the colony. She told him about the investigation on Saren and becoming a Spectre. The difficult part came when she spoke about Noveria and having to kill Benezia. The pain and hatred on Liara's features as she mourned her mother. The funeral she insisted on holding for the Matriarch and the favors she pulled to ensure Liara had the goodbye she deserved. The journey afterwards and the developing feelings afterwards were easy. They flowed from her without thought. She told him about Ilos and the fight for the Citadel. Then the day the Normandy was attacked.

"I sent her away, ordered my Lieutenant to take her. She wouldn't leave." Raegan spoke softly, throat getting tight. "I couldn't do my duty and protect her at the same time. It would have cost too much. I saved Joker but it was too late. I was thrown from the lifeboat and cut off, leaving no choice. I accepted my fate, knew it had finally come for me. If I had known how much it would hurt her though…"

She shook her head, shaking the thought away. "It's been two years. She's happy now, safe. I shouldn't ruin it for her."

"Then don't." Charles took her hand, kissing the knuckle softly. "I fought for you Raegan. Fought for us. Not even death could keep me from you. I'm here and I love you."

Rae couldn't help but flinch at the words. They held so much danger in them. The people that say them to her never last long. Fate has a way of hurting those close to her. "I need time. Despite my words, my thoughts, I need some kind of closer."

Charles sighed but nodded. He stood, taking her with him. "Then just lay with me. Let me hold you and keep the nightmares away. Just one night. If it doesn't work…"

Rae let him pull her to the bed. She let him undress her and pull her close. He kissed her tears away and whispered assurances in her ear. She closed her eyes and relaxed, drifting into a light sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

A/n: omg I swear that karma hates me or something. I had three chapters written, unposted because our internet was out. Then we get the internet back, I decide to post the chapters when I get home from work. Didn't get back until 10 so collapsed into sleep. Wake up the next morning and my comp wouldn't turn on. We had a wind storm over night that caused power surges, tripped our breakers, and fried my power source and mother board. Bye bye chapters. Luckily I found a new comp on craigslist for cheap. So alas, here's your chapter.

-brittsis

* * *

She didn't sleep long, hadn't since waking up on the operating table. If she caught three hours she considered herself lucky. Most times nightmares plagued her, keeping her awake and afraid to close her eyes. Even with Charles they still haunted her. Not two hours after closing her eyes, Rae woke covered in sweat and unable to catch her breath. She crawled out of the bed and sat on the sofa, watching Charles sleep. Her mind couldn't help but dwell on thoughts best left alone.

Guilt ate away at her. It crawled under her skin and infected her heart. She couldn't help but remember everyone lost to her. Family, friends, lovers… anyone that she trusted had sooner or later found death knocking at their doors. Charles had survived but at a terrible cost. He'd sacrificed his mind as he clung to her. Even now Raegan could see the desperation in his eyes when he looked at her. He wanted something she couldn't give to him.

Then Liara… even thinking of the asari sent a pang of lost, guilt, and uncertainty through her. Fate had played a cruel joke to the one being in the galaxy that had given Rae some peace. Instead of taking the asari away from her it had taken Shepard from the woman, leaving her to face the memories they built. Garrus's words echoed through Raegan's head. Liara had taken her death hard, unable to face the loss. Rae should never have allowed them to become so close. A decision needed to be made and as time went the choice became clearer. Rae couldn't inflict that pain on anyone again, even if it would tear her to pieces.

It was right before dawn that Rae dressed and left her cabin. She clipped a service pistol to her hip and fled the ship. They were still docked at Omega and it was time she ran her body through its paces.

She decided to head for the lower levels of Afterlife. The music wasn't as loud; the crowd was thinner, and the bar friendlier. The bartender greeted her with a weak smile and placed a glass in front of her. "What will it be?"

Raegan studied the glass, frowning slightly. "What's your strongest drink?"

"Are you looking for a good time or trying to kill half your brain cells?" The salarian asked.

"I need to shut down thousands of nanites that burn through human and asari drinks like they're water."

The salarian raised a brow but didn't ask. Instead he pulled a bottle of green liquid out from under the bar and poured her a glass. "Ryncol. Krogans make and drink it."

Rae nodded and threw the glass back. It burned the whole way down and lit a fire in her gut. Her eyes closed as she savored the feeling, waiting for it to pass. When it didn't, she grinned and waved for him to leave the bottle.

Raegan's omnitool was buzzing stubbornly, demanding her attention. She had already ignored it several times in favor of keeping her buzz going but it wouldn't give up. For the fifth time it called to her and Rae decided to find out just what it wanted. Opening the display she was faced with Joker's grim face. "What is it Flight Lieutenant?"

Joker frowned but let it drop for now. "Commander, the Normandy is due to disembark in an hour. Everyone's aboard…"

He let the sentence hand but Rae knew what he meant. Everyone was aboard and awaiting her arrival. Duty was calling and she had no choice but to answer. "I'm on my way. Head for Zorya, we have innocents to save from mercenaries."

"Yes Commander."

* * *

The alcohol did its work. For once she wasn't dwelling on the past, instead focused on the mission in front of her. They landed on the planet and was quickly confronted with resistance. Zaeed had broken into their communications, giving away their ambushes and well laid plans. She had brought Charles with her. He would notice the alcohol on her breath, would notice the flask she took sips from, and wouldn't say a thing. She didn't trust him farther than she could throw him but Garrus would be too bold.

"This is Commander Santiago. If any of you retreat while the intruders are still alive, I'll kill you myself. Now get the hell back out there." Their target's voice came over the comms and Raegan stopped the bridge from extending. A look had passed Zaeed's features, hinting at more than what was originally revealed.

He frowned, "Vido. Sounds like he hasn't changed."

Raegan growled low. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Charles raised his brow, his hands tightening on his rifle. "What's going on Raegan?"

Rae ignored him, keeping her attention on the mercenary in front of her. "Tell me why we're here Massani. And don't leave anything out this time."

Zaeed sighed, scratching at this chin. "Vido and I go back, way back. Started the Suns together and he was a sadistic bastard then. He and the Suns only got meaner after he staged his little coup twenty years ago. So yeah, we have a past."

"Continue." Rae growled out.

"I'm here for revenge Shepard." Zaeed answered a little anger in his voice. "Vido turned my own men against me. He paid six of them to restrain me while he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. For twenty years, I've seen the bastard every time I closed my eyes. Every time I sighted down a target. Every time I heard a gunshot."

They glared into each other eyes, sizing the other up. There was a silent battle between the two, both looking for weakness in the other. Charles inched closer, looking from to the other. His rifle rose a bit, pointing toward Zaeed. Rae waved him off before speaking. "You don't know me so I'll let it goes this once. But I do not appreciate being lied to."

She ignored any other comments, ordering both of them to fall in. They rounded the corner and were quickly led into a trap. They'd been to busy arguing to hear the ambush being laid. Their target stood above them, a smug look on his face and surrounded by men. They were outnumbered ten to one. "Zaeed Massani, you finally tracked me down."

Zaeed growled out his name and reached for his rifle only to be warned. "Don't be stupid Zaeed. I have a whole company of blood thirst bastards behind me ready to be killed or be killed on my command."

Rae shook her head, "Never stopped us before."

"Stay out of this Shepard." Vido spat out. "I'll deal with you in a moment."

He turned back to Zaeed, a grin spreading on his face. "Go ahead, take your shot. My men a reason to put you down like the mad dog you are, again."

Zaeed pulled his rifle out, opening fire. He missed all targets but the pipe behind Vido sprung a leak.

"What was that? Gone near sighted you son of a bitch?" Vido sneer from his position, ignorant of the gas leaking behind him.

"Burn you son of a bitch." Zaeed cursed and opened fire, igniting the leak.

The fire quickly spread and explosions knocked them to the ground. The enemy opened fire and Rae cursed as she rolled into cover. She rose to her knees in time to see Zaeed breaking a valve off a pipe. "What the hell are you doing?" She yelled out as the valve broke and more explosions followed.

"Opening the gate." He sneered.

Rae growled rising to her feet and advancing on him. She grabbed hold of his collar and pulled him close, eyes glaring into his own. "I have one fucking rule. NEVER HARM INNOCENTS!"

She let him go, throwing him to the side. "Fall in line Zaeed or get the fuck out. Are you ready to follow orders?"

"Vido will die today Shepard. If you want help on your mission you better make damn sure that man dies." Zaeed warned.

* * *

"Help we're trapped!" A man called behind them, drawing Rae's attention. "We can't get to the gas valves to shut them off. The whole place is going to blow!"

"No time." Zaeed growled out. "Vido's half way to the shuttle by now."

"And you suggest we leave them?" Rae shook her head. "Go get your man Massani. I'm going to help these people. Freeman?"

"Yes?" Charles asked behind her.

"Go with Massani. Make sure his man dies."

Zaeed frowned. "That wasn't part of the deal."

"Fuck your deal Massani. I have your mess to clean up." Rae growled out and lept over the railing to the lower catwalk.

"What about you Raegan?" Charles asked, a frown on his face.

"I gave you your order soldier." Rae yelled at him. "Take down the target then call for extraction."

Even with her hard suit it was hot. Fire heated the air and smoked filled her lungs. It was an exhausting job but Rae was determined to get it done. She could hear the people yelling instructions and begging for help. Just when she thought it wouldn't work, that the fire was too far gone, the extinguishers kicked in and doused the flame. Safety doors opened and civilians ran out to greet her.

"Thank you. We thought we were dead." One of the women cried out, giving her a hug.

Rae gently pushed her away and gave a soft smile. "Take these people to these coordinates. A shuttle will be there soon to take you to my ship."

She transferred the coordinates and waved them to the exit. They all thanked her again before leaving. Rae cursed softly and whipped the sweat from her brow. All she wanted was a hot shower and a cold drink. But that was for later. Unshipping her rifle, Rae moved through the refinery and soon met up with Charles and Zaeed as they fought two of the larger mechs.

"Raegan!" Charles called out.

"Massani, hit the bastard with your grenades." Rae ordered and dove into cover as a rocket soared over her head.

"Out of the goddamn things and Vido is getting away!" He growled and rose from cover to pepper the machines with rifle fire.

"What do you have Freedman?"

"One rocket, but can't hit them both." Charles called out.

Rae cursed and strengthened her barrier. "I'll round them up."

She rose from cover and charged the closest one, knocking it back. As it stumbled, she turned to the other and surrounded it in biotics. Slowly she began to drag it to her but the original mech was righting itself. She called out for cover fire as she circled around it. She charged it again and repeated her pull. Five more times and the two mechs were finally close enough.

"Now!" She yelled out and dove for cover. Rae heard the rocket fire and the mechs exploded.

* * *

They emerged onto the landing pad just in time to see Vido take off. Rae ran over hoping to catch them but the thrusters engaged and threw her to the ground. Zaeed screamed and opened fire, emptying his clip. It was too late, the ship flew out of range with their target inside. Zaeed changed his clip and turned the rifle towards her, anger in his eyes. "You just cost me twenty years of my life!"

Rae growled, keeping her pistol trained on his as she rose to her feet. Charles ran over, rifle leveling on the mercenary. Before any of them could do anything more gas exploded, throwing a large beam of metal at them. Rae dove out of the way but Zaeed was trapped. He cursed and screamed in pain, trying to lift the object.

"God damn it!" He gave up, dropping to the ground. "Shepard, get me out of this shit hole."

Rae shook her head, kneeling beside him. She pulled her flask out and took a long sip of the burning liquid. "We have a problem Massani. You put your revenge ahead of the mission. How can I trust that you'll be there when I need you?"

"I'll do what I was goddamn paid to do Shepard." He spat out. "Just don't expect me to do anymore than that. Now stop screwing around and get me out of here."

"No Massani you need to understand something first." Rae spat back. "I am the Commander. I give the orders. If I tell you to jump on one foot while rubbing your head and singing twinkle twinkle little star you do it without question. We're going into a fucking suicide mission that I intend to survive. To do that you have to follow my orders to the letter and never question me. Is that understood?"

Zaeed glared at her, not saying a word. Rae gave him a few seconds before capping her flask and tucking it away. "Fall out Freeman."

They took a couple steps before Zaeed called out. "Goddamn it Shepard. I understand. Now get me the hell out of here."


	8. Chapter 8

Raegan took a hot shower as soon as they returned to the ship. They were heading back to the Citadel to drop off their passengers then heading right out again. Cerberus had purchased an outlaw from a prisoner ship named Jack. He was supposed to be the most powerful human biotic out there but he was also very dangerous. Quick tempered and no morals had landed him in a cryo cell, frozen until they'd go pick him up. Rae wanted a simple pick up before heading for the krogan scientist.

She dressed in ship board fatigues afterward and went down to the mess to get food. Garrus was there, waiting with food and coffee. "Shepard, I have some news for you."

Raegan nodded, taking the sandwich and sitting down at the table. "I wanted to talk to you Garrus."

He sat down across from her, setting the coffee mug between them. "What's up?"

She took a couple bites and drank some coffee before speaking. "I want you to stop looking for Liara."

He frowned, mandibles drawing in tight. "Shepard…"

"Don't Garrus. I thought it over and decided to leave well enough alone." She stared into her coffee, swirling the liquid in the mug. "It's been two years; she's already mourned for me. No need for me to open old wounds."

Garrus shook his head. "Is this about Charles? I've seen the way he…"

Raegan raised her hand, interrupting him. "This is about keeping her safe. I've endangered her enough already. If something happened to her because of me…" She shook the words away, afraid to face them. "Please Garrus. Don't tell her I'm back."

"Shepard.." He sighed but stopped when she looked up at him. Her eyes were wide, begging him. Garrus could see the pain buried deep and decided to leave it alone for now. He'd keep the data he'd uncovered though. Just in case she changed her mind. "I'm here if you need me Shepard. For anything."

* * *

They arrived at the Citadel without trouble. The workers were quickly disembarked and supplies ferried aboard. She was standing in security signing for the last shipment when the ad spoke to her. At first Rae thought she was imagining things. A mixture of alcohol and little sleep causing her to hallucinate.

"Commander Shepard." The ad called again, causing Rae to frown and turned toward it. A woman's face cloaked in a hood smiled at her. "We have the finest companions waiting for you. Perhaps something petite, small, and Asian would be your style?"

Rae walked over and crossed her arms just as it asked for her password. "Who are you and what do you want?"

The vid frowned at her momentarily before replacing her smile. "I'm guessing the Illusive Man hadn't informed you of my recruitment?"

Rae shook her head. "He tends to leave details out."

"Kasumi Goto, the pleasure is mine Commander. Best thief in the galaxy and now part of your group."

"A merc, assassin, and now a thief…" She grumbled, ignoring Kasumi's questioning look. "Well get your gear aboard, we ship off in ten."

"There's something else Commander. A payment, of sorts, that was promised me."

Rae sighed and rubbed her face hard. "There always is. Get aboard Goto, we'll discuss it once we're under way."

* * *

Rae took another hesitating step, knee buckling and ankles giving away. She growled, kicking the death traps off her feet and throwing them across the room. Charles chuckled only to stop when Rae turned her glare on him. "Let me see you walk in them!"

He raised his hands in surrender. "I just never thought the great Raegan Shepard would be defeated by five inch heels."

Rae growled, advancing on him only to be stopped by Kasumi sighing and handing the heels back. "Keep trying Commander. Hock will never believe that you're persona wouldn't wear these."

"Then make a new persona!" Rae spat out knocking the shoes away.

"She may have a point Kasumi." Charles spoke up. "She's always felt more at home in a hard suit and uniform than a dress and heels."

"It's a black tie event with the biggest gang and mob bosses in attendance." Kasumi sighed. "They won't let her stroll in wearing full combat suit. Please Shepard, it's very important to me."

Rae frowned. She should have said no. Her brain was warning against it, warning her where this favor could lead. But her heart, her very being, couldn't say no to that face. "Freeman, go get another bottle of Ryncol. We have a long night in front of us."

* * *

"Why does he get to carry a gun?" Rae grumbled as she tugged the hem of her skirt down.

Kasumi sighed as she piloted the sky car. "We discussed this already Shepard. He's your body guard. What would a body guard be without a gun?"

"Pretty useless." Charles answered with a grin. "Besides, I look dangerous and dashing. The right mix for your cover."

"And I couldn't bring Garrus?"

Kasumi shook her head. "He'd be too noticeable. Aliens generally are not invited to these kinds of things. Now be good Shepard and you'll get a treat later."

"And if you're lucky, everything will go horribly wrong and you'll be able to shoot everyone." Charles grinned behind them.

Rae nodded, though still not happy with the situation. She'd been stuffed into this dress with heels then Kasumi attacked her with makeup. The entire crew had been shocked speechless when she walked into the shuttle bay. She could even swear that Joker took pictures, storing them away before she could react. Her skin itched and she ached to be back in her gear. She might even burn the dress when it was all said and done, if Kasumi didn't hide it from her.

"We're hear Shepard. Remember you're Allison Gunn, leader of a mercenary group and a badass with a slight attitude use to getting her way. You don't take no for an answer easily but you're not one to cause a scene. Don't want to draw too much attention." Kasumi spoke up as the shuttle landed.

"So act like you normally do." Charles grinned.

Rae decided to ignore the comment and climbed out of the shuttle. She turned in time to watch their gift, a statue of Saren, be unloaded and the scanned it. She allowed a sneer to curl her lips when he stopped them.

"Is there a problem here?" The host climbed down the stairs, asking the guard.

"No Mr. Hock, just doing a scan."

Hock turned his attention towards them. "I don't believe we meet. Donavon Hock."

"Allison Gunn," Rae replied, crossing her arms. "Do we have a problem?"

Hock raised a brow, turning to the guard. The guard shrugged, tapping at his omnitool. "Sir, the scanners aren't picking anything up."

"Hmm…" Hock shook his head and waved the guard away. "I don't think our guest would come all the way here from Illium just to cause trouble. Do you?"

Hock turned back to them, a grim smile on his face. "You may pass through Miss Gunn, you were invited after all. But your lady companion will need to stay out here. You'll understand, I hope."

Rae frowned, "Care to explain why my tech expert needs to stay out here?"

Hock's eyes narrowed slightly. "She's a little underdressed for this party Miss Gunn. Is there a problem with this?"

Rae paused for a moment, eyes shifting side to side as she pretended to think the issue over. "As long as my first lieutenant can join me, there won't be an issue."

Hock grinned, "He's more than welcome Miss Gunn."

* * *

Rae grabbed yet another glass of wine and downed it in one gulp. The alcohol was buzzing in her head, blurring the edges of her vision. It didn't bother her though. A slight buzz wouldn't affect her abilities and she could still think clearly. Besides it wouldn't last long. Ryncol was the only thing that had a lasting effect and it didn't last more than a few hours. Her flask was with her gear though, tucked into one of her ammo pockets.

Charles frowned, grabbing her wrist to stop her from grabbing another glass. He leaned in and hissed into her ear, "Don't you think you've had enough?"

She snatched her hand away, breaking his grip. "I'm fine."

He shook his head, "There's still a chance this could go south and fast. Can you fight?"

"I'm fine." She growled out and walked away from him. "Did you crack it yet Goto?" She hissed into the comms.

"Putting the voice authentication in now," Kasumi answered back. "Start heading my way and gear up."

"Finally," Rae growled out and pushed her way through the guests.

It didn't take them long to reach the vault. People shied away from Raegan's determined face, allowing them to pass. She opened the hidden compartment and pulled the dress over her head, not caring who was watching. Charles stripped his suit off and stepped into his under armor. They helped each other latch their armor on, double checking each other's seals.

Rae took a long hit off her flask before latching her helmet in place. "Move out people."

* * *

She made a point to break every piece of art they came across on their way out. Every vase, painting, statue, even the god damn glass cases didn't survive her scrutiny. The man had come important pieces of history secreted away. Pieces that museums would drool over to own. Pieces Hock should have made available to the public to study. Raegan couldn't allow his greed to continue to go unpunished.

Hock voiced his displeasure loudly and often as they fought their way free. Every foot gain was rewarded by his cursing and demands of their deaths. It was amusing in a way and Rae quickly made a game out of it.

"He sure wants us dead." Rae grinned, dropping a grenade into a crate and walking away. It exploded, breaking the statue that was stored inside.

"Well maybe if you didn't break everything he'd be a better host." Charles shook his head as he stood from cover.

"But it's so much fun." Rae replied as she reloaded her gun. "Ready Kasumi?"

Kasumi grinned as she emerged from her cloak. "Scans say this is the last door. Open air on the other side."

"Then let's finish this." Rae opened the door and rushed out. She was quickly greeting with a gunship and Hock's voice on loud speaker.

"You could've done this the easy way Goto!" He yelled out. "Allow me to show you the hard way!"

He opened fire again as mechs and more mercenaries were raised from below. Orders were quickly shouted out as she rolled into cover. Switching to her assault rifle, she threw a warp at the group heading her way. "Kasumi, can you take out the shields?"

"If you can clear a path," Kasumi answered as she cloaked and shadow struck a nearby enemy.

"Charles, keep that group distracted."

"Aye aye." He answered, throwing a grenade into the group before opening fire.

"Kasumi, follow me." Rae yelled out and rose from cover, biotics firing. She let out a war cry as she charged into a group, knocking them all back. She dropped her assault rifle and pulled her shotgun out. Blood exploded from her target and she charged another, throwing him across the platform and over the edge.

"That's it Shepard." Kasumi called out, running for the edge. She jumped onto the pipes and ran right for the ship. Hock swung around to shoot her down but was too late. She leapt and landed on him, overloading his shields.

"Charles, rocket!" Rae called out, charging his group to draw their attention.

"Affirmative," He pulled the heavy weapon out and took aim. Kasumi flipped off and he fired. The unshielded ship had no chance. Three rockets collided and blew it out of the air.

Rae ordered clean up and they quickly cleared the platform. "Joker, send the shuttle. I want out of here and on the way to the prison ship yesterday!"

* * *

"Goodbye Kasumi. I love you." The program finished and Kasumi stood there, tears in her eyes.

Rae watched her, waiting. She recognized the grief that weighed on the thief. It was heavy and hard to let go. But she'd been left with little choice. To keep the greybox would mean the woman would be in constant danger. "You should destroy them."

Charles frowned, "How could you say that? They're all she has left."

Rae shook her head. "She still has her own memories and she's had her revenge. Kasumi, it's for the best."

Kasumi nodded slowly, whipping the tears from her cheeks. "I… I don't know if I can."

Rae stood from the bench and held out her hand. "Then let me."

Fear and uncertainty passed the woman's face as she started at Raegan's hand. A moment passed but Kasumi understood. She placed the grey box into her hand and turned away, hugging herself. Rae sighed and placed the implant on the ground, taking out her shotgun.

"Raegan wait!" Charles stood up, reaching for her.

"No," She growled at him and squeezed the trigger. Two shots later and the piece of equipment was destroyed.


	9. Chapter 9

He entered the room, eyes sweeping the room. Kasumi had made herself at home. Art adorned the walls and books lined selves. A cot had been made up and actually looked comfier than the bunk he used in the crew quarters. The woman in question wasn't in sight but that didn't mean she wasn't there. Kasumi had a nasty habit of wandering the ship cloaked. He wasn't sure why but assumed it was for her own gain. Probably spying on them or stealing valuables.

"Kasumi…" He called out and walked further into the room. "You have something of mine. Something the Illusive Man instructed you to give me."

"An interesting little box," A disembodied voice answered, "Paid extra for me to get it aboard unknown and unmolested. Makes me curious to what may lay inside."

He growled in warning. "Just give it to me Kasumi."

The woman disabled her cloak, appearing lounging on the sofa. She held a small metal box in her hand, outstretched to him. "I won't lie; I tried to get a peek inside."

"I'm sure you did." He frowned, snatching the box from her. He spun and headed for the exit, but found the door locked. "Let me out Kasumi."

"What's in the box?"

"None of your concern," He growled. "Open the door!"

"I will find out Charles." Kasumi answered before waving her omnitool, unlocking the door.

Charles moved quickly, choosing not to answer her last quip. He held death in his hands and couldn't chance anyone finding him with it. The elevator ride seemed to take forever but he finally reached engineering. Charles headed right for his hidey hole and opened his communicator. "Operative Chief reporting in, code yankee tango three two lima one."

He waited several agonizing seconds while authorization was put through and the connection was made. Finally the Illusive Man came of screen. "Did you get my package?"

Charles nodded, bringing the box into view. "How do I open it?"

"Sending crack codes to your omnitool now," the Illusive Man answered and a download started in the background. "Inside is enough for four doses Freeman. It should be more than enough to sway the Commander to our side."

Charles frowned. "Doses? You want me to drug the Commander?"

The Illusive Man frowned while he took a long drag from his cigarette. "You made a deal Freeman."

"And I'm working on it sir. I recently made progress."

"Use the drugs anyways. We don't have time for you to woo her Freeman." The connection was cut, leaving Charles in the dark.

Cursing, Charles opened the codes and applied them to the box. It opened with a soft hiss to reveal four small vials of a clear liquid. He didn't know what they were or how they worked. He did know that they'd change her though, make her more willing toward his advances. And it disgusted him.

* * *

"This is supposed to be a quick pick up, easy." Raegan told her companions as they docked with the prison ship. "In and out."

"Do you really believe that Shepard?" Garrus asked with a raised brow plate.

She shook her head and checked her weapons. "That's why I'm bringing you and Zaeed."

The mercenary grinned as she shipped his assault rifle. "It should be a gad damn party."

They disembarked and headed for the entranced. Standing guard were three armed guards. They greeted them friendly enough but Raegan was instantly set off. "Welcome to Purgatory, Shepard. Your package is being prepped, and you can claim it shortly. As this is a high security vessel you'll need to relinquish your weapons before we proceed."

Rae frowned, hand brushing the stock of her shotgun. "Not going to happen. I don't go anywhere unarmed. Usually leads to bad things happening."

"Everyone stand down." The door opened behind the guard and a turian walked in. "Commander, I'm Warden Kuril, and this is my ship. Your weapons will be returned on the way out. You must realize this is just a standard procedure."

She shook her head, eyes narrowing. "I'm not surrendering my gun. Period."

Eyes met and they glared at each other. A battle of wills played out in those few moments, neither wanting to admit defeat. Finally Kuril broke and sighed, nodding to his men. "Let them proceed. Our facility is more than secure enough to handle three armed quests."

Rae nodded and let her hand fall from her gun. She gave a reassuring nod to her team and watched them fall into a relaxed state beside her. "And Jack?"

"We're bringing Jack out of cryo. As soon as the funds clear, you can be on your way." The Warden answered, "If you'll follow me to out processing for the pickup, Commander."

* * *

Rae paused before entering the room, a frown on her face. Something didn't feel right about this entire situation. Why would out processing be so far from the entrance? Wouldn't it make sense to have it closer to the exit and lower the risk of riots? Rubbing her face, she sighed and turned to her men. "Doesn't smell right. Keep alert and ready for anything."

Zaeed grinned, hand twitching at his side. "These men aren't prison guards, Shepard. More like goddamn mercs."

Rae nodded, "I noticed their choice of armor."

"And you wanted an easy pick up." Garrus chuckled.

"Nothing's easy Garrus." Rae grumbled and took a swig of her Ryncol before entering the room.

It didn't take long for hell to break loose. Her instincts were correct and they were under attack. A number of colorful curses flooded her mouth as she charged into the first group. Garrus settled in the back of the room, bringing out his sniper rifle, while Zaeed threw and incendiary through the door. Screams of pain echoed through the hall as the fire burnt through armor and hit skin. It didn't take them long to take out the guards.

"That's a damn shame," Zaeed complained, scratching his chin. "I didn't even break a sweat."

Garrus grinned, "Maybe it will be an easy pick up after all."

Rae shook her head. "Bite your tongue Garrus. Nothing is ever easy for us."

* * *

Rae ducked behind cover after taking out another guard. Two of the three shield generators were out and Kuril kept taking pot shots at them. They'd fought through the ship, following Jack's wake, only to end up pinned down by the Warden and the never ending waves of guards. "Garrus…" Rae growled putting another clip into her rifle.

"One second.." Garrus answered as he lined up his shot. He pulled the trigger and the finally generator died.

"About god damn time!" Zaeed growled out, throwing his last grenade at the new wave of enemies.

Rae stood from cover and turned her attention on the now vulnerable turian. Biotics bathed her as every muscle in her body tensed. With a war cry, she charged Kuril and slammed him against the wall. Her shot gun fired twice, shredding his armor and piercing his plated skin. His cry of pain was silenced as her hand wrapped tight around his neck. He swung his pistol around but she caught his wrist and broke it with a twist of her hand. "You're nothing but a fucking slaver Kuril."

Rae leaned in close, a smile of satisfaction on her face as he gasped for breath. "I hate fucking slavers."

She dropped his lifeless body just as Garrus and Zaeed finished the last of the guards. Uncapping her flask, she took a long gulp before offering it to the mercenary. Zaeed accepted it while Garrus watched her with a raised brow and mandibles drawn tight. Rae knew this look, he was worried about her. She didn't have time for worry. "He deserved worse Garrus. What I just did was mercy."

* * *

There were only a few stragglers left as they made their way back toward the ship. Jack had killed most of them and what was left didn't stand a chance against them. It didn't take them long to reach the loading bay. They found Jack pacing back in forth as she yelled curses upon seeing their ship. A guard was trying to sneak up on her and Rae shot him with her side arm.

Jack turned toward her, anger contorting her face. "What the hell do you want?"

"My name is Shepard, and I'm here to get you off this ship."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. You're Cerberus."

Rae shook her head. "I'm using them for their resourced for now. I am not, nor ever will be, Cerberus."

"With them, for them, using them.. I don't care." Jack growled out. "You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me away somewhere. You think I'm stupid?"

"Yes, yes I do."

Jack scowled, biotics bathing her body. "What did you say?"

Rae answered with her own biotics taking a step forward. "I don't take kindly to threats, so turn it off!"

"Enemies don't last long around Shepard." Garrus commented behind her.

"Why should I trust you?" Jack spat out.

"Because this station is falling apart and in flames," Rae answered, her biotics flaring. "I have the only ship for light years out there and you're bound and determined to piss me off. Turn it off now!"

Jack frowned, considering it for a moment before powering down. "I just want one thing?"

"And now she makes demands." Rae hissed under her breath as she let her biotics fade. "What is that?"

"Full access," Jack answered. "I bet your ship's got lots of Cerberus databases. I want to look at those files. See what Cerberus has got on me."

Rae nodded, "Done."

"Lawson's not going to like that." Zaeed grinned.

"I'll deal with her. Everyone aboard."

* * *

Rae called Miranda to the conference room to meet the newest team member. She'd already briefed the woman on Jack's demands and wasn't happy about it. She tried every excuse but Rae was determined. Jack would get her access. Rae poured a glass of Ryncol as she spoke to the woman. "I don't care about fucking protocol Lawson. Get Jack those files."

Miranda frowned, knuckles white as she gripped the table. "Some of those files even I don't have access to."

"Then get access to them." Rae growled out, slamming her glass onto the table. "And make a god damn copy for yourself. Maybe what's inside will open your eyes."

"The Illusive Man…"

"Can go to fucking hell!" Rae interrupted. "I gave you my orders, carry them out!"

"Commander?" EDI called out.

"What?"

"Jack is waiting in the hall. She has asked for entrance and has stated, rather explicitly, that she will have what she's come for." EDI answered.

Rae closed her eyes for a brief moment while she willed herself to remain calm. "Let her in."

Jack entered and Miranda pushed from the table, pacing toward the woman. "Welcome to the Normandy, Jack. I'm Miranda, Shepard's second-in-command. On this ship, we follow orders."

Jack rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall. "Tell the Cerberus cheerleader to back off, Shepard. I'm here because of our deal."

Rae groaned, already sensing the tension between the two. "Get settled in Jack. Lawson will have your files soon."

Jack frowned but nodded, pushing from the wall. "Right. Might want to hurry on that. You know the damage I can do inside a frigate?"

"Do I need to put her in the holding cells?" Miranda asked, taking a step toward Jack. "Just to be case?"

Jack smirked, taking a step closer toward Miranda. "Just try it cheerleader."

Rae growled, throwing her glass to draw both their attentions. "Jack, you'll get your fucking files. But I swear if you threaten my life or my crew's lives again, I will throw you out the fucking air lock. Miranda, leave Jack alone and follow you're fucking orders. Do I make myself clear?"

Neither said a word, eyes glaring at one other. Rae slammed her hand on the table. "Do I make myself clear?!"

"Crystal," Jack answered first. "I'll find my own place. Somewhere near the bottom. I don't like through traffic. Don't keep me waiting, Shepard."

Jack left and Miranda turned to her. "I'll get those files."

After they were both gone, Rae groaned and rubbed her face hard. EDI reappeared, "Commander, would you like me to send someone to clean up the glass?"

Rae shook her head. "No, I'll get it. EDI have Joker head for the krogan. We'll pick him up then head for some much needed shore leave."

"Yes Commander. Logging you out."


	10. Chapter 10

a/n: Okay I didn't attend for the following scene to happen. Really I had other plans. But I got writing and it just happened. I swear my brain shut off and my fingers took off. I tried rewriting it, telling myself 'No that's not how it happens!' but alas all it did was give me a writer's block. So I tossed my plans aside and went with it. Apparently my inner self has been listening to your reviews and was rebelling against the outline I had laid out for these two. Enjoy

-brittsis

* * *

He didn't want to use the drugs. The very thought made him sick. Charles hadn't expected the resistance Raegan was putting up but he refused to drug her to gain her loyalty. He had tried talking with her calmly. He should have known it wasn't going to work though. His previous experience showed that you couldn't woo Raegan Shepard. Last time he had been forced to drag her kicking and screaming into their relationship. Charles had no choice but to follow similar tactics.

He found her in the armory, repairing her armory. He leaned against a table and watched as she applied the final seal to her armor, cursing as the epoxy stuck to her fingers. It was meant to merge metals together in an air tight seal and worked wonderfully for quick repairs. But it did horrible things to your skin. She quickly grabbed the safety solution and rinsed her fingers off before it ate through her skin. A layer of medigel numbed the pain and started the healing process.

"You never did wear the safety gloves." Charles voice caused her to jump and he chuckled.

She turned to find him advancing. Before she could avoid it, he hand her hand in his grasp and was examining the burn. "I'll be fine," She grumbled and pulled her hand away.

He sighed, "Should let your doctor take a look. She might have a salve."

"Already used medigel." She grumbled, taking a step away from him. "Anything I can do for you Freeman?"

Charles frowned at the use of his last name. He knew for experience it was her way of distancing herself from people, trying to hide from her feelings. It had taken him months to get her to use his first name; he wasn't going to allow her to back away now. "I just wanted to talk."

"Look about the other night…."

"Have you thought about what I said?" Charles circled around her, trapping her against the work bench. A hand reached up, caressing her cheek.

Rae clenched her fist and fought the urge to slap his hand away. Instead she turned her face away from the contact. "I can't do this."

"Have you ever thought how things could have been had I not been taken?" He asks, his voice bordering on the edge of anger.

"No. I try…."

"I do, every day." Charles interrupted her, taking her hand again. "I'd have convinced you to marry me. We'd be living in Florida with a couple of kids, a boy and a girl, maybe a third on the way. I'd be working on base, teaching new marines. And you'd stay home with the kids."

Rae shook her head, pulling from his grasp and pushing past him. She escaped to the other side of the room. Her gut had twisted at his words, nausea rising. Did he ever truly know her? She would never have been content with that, even all those years ago before the military had formed her. The thought of children sent chills down her back and Raegan couldn't imagine herself as a mother. The picture he painted didn't appeal to her at all. Instead it scared her and had her choosing her next words carefully. "Freeman, listen to me carefully. What he had before is gone. Its history and it cannot be brought back. There's no room for maybes and what ifs, not anymore."

He shook his head and crossed the room toward her. She backed away, putting a work bench between them. "I love you Raegan."

"I don't, not sure if I ever did."

"Bullshit!" Charles slammed his hand on the table, fury in his eyes. "You're trying to protect me again. I can take care of myself!"

Her eyes narrowed. "You need to calm down Chief. If you can't handle this rationally I will be forced to order you off this ship."

"Rationally?" He hissed. "You want to talk about rationality? How about the fact that it was the batarians that killed your family, not you? Or that it was the batarians that tortured me for years, not you? How about that it was the geth that killed Operations Chief Williams, not you? Your survivor's guilt is choking you but I'm willing to over look it and accept it."

Rae freezes, her anger swiftly taking over. Her fists tighten, nails biting into her palm. Her biotics hum and it take everything in her not to throw him across the room. "Chief Freeman, leave the room and report to your bunk. Remain there until you receive further orders."

"No." He growls and circles the table. "Wake up Raegan. Your asari bitch moved on and I'm all you got."

He didn't even see the punch coming. Her fist collided with his chin and sent him stumbling to the ground. Charles looked up to see her coming, biotics rippling down her arms. He jumped to his feet and ducked the next punch, raising his guard. Rae swung for his gut only to have it blocked. She had forgotten that he was better at hand to hand in basic. But this wasn't basic anymore.

Rae dropped to the ground and kicked his feet from under him. Charles dropped to the ground but used the momentum to roll away. He caught her next attack and used her advance to throw her over his shoulder. Rae latched on and planted her feet, turning the move against him. He groaned when he hit the metal flooring. Before he could catch his breath, she was on him. Rae straddled him, her knees pinning his arms down. Her hand grabbed a fist full of hair and wrenched his head back. The other latched onto his throat and squeezed.

Someone ran into the room and pulled her off him. She screamed for her release as he got to his knees and sucked in precious air.

"Put him in the brig!" Raegan finally pulled from her captor's grasp. "I want him off my ship next time we dock."

"Yes Commander." Garrus replied, moving forward to pull Charles to his feet.

"What happened, Commander?" Miranda asked as she moved into the room.

"None of your fucking business," Rae growled out, leaving the room.

* * *

Miranda put her codes in and sent a request to her boss. Things hadn't gone as planned and it didn't look good. She reviewed the footage and knew there were no fixing things. Charles had assured them that he could woo the Commander with little problems. Instead he had alienated the woman. The Illusive Man's plans were unraveling quickly and Miranda didn't see another way to proceed.

"Miranda," The Illusive Man answered, eyes narrowed at the unscheduled communication.

"Sir, I am sorry to report that Freeman has failed. I'm forwarding the data now."

The Illusive Man frowns, reviewing the information she sent him. He takes a long hit on his cigarette and releases the smoke slowly. "This is troubling to hear Miranda. What does the man have to say?"

"He's not talking to anyone." Miranda answered. "The Commander has confined him to the brig and insisting that he leave the ship. He's lucky she didn't turn him over to the Alliance."

He thinks this over, stroking this chin in thought. "What about Jacob?"

Miranda shakes her head. "She barely trusts him. Freeman only had a chance because of their history."

The Illusive Man rises from his chair, pacing to the large windows behind him. His hands are grasped behind his back as he considers the view. He remains silent and Miranda doesn't dare interrupt him. Finally he sighs, "If we can't bring her back through romance maybe we could do it through favor. What are your thoughts on T'Soni?"

"That maybe we were wrong to keep them apart." Miranda sends him more data with a couple clicks of her keyboard. "As you can see, Shepard's demeanor has been rapidly deteriorating. Her anger is controlling her decisions and she has become more ruthless to her enemies. Also, there is the increase of alcohol."

"And what is your current heading?"

"We just picked Jack up and heading for Okeer, the last of the first dossiers we provided." Miranda answered him.

"Good," he nods, turning back to her. "Contact me when you have Okeer on board. I'm going to set a couple plans in motion and will discuss them then."

* * *

They'll be landing on Korlus in just under an hour and Raegan didn't care. She should be checking weapons and armor, getting ready for the mission. Instead she found herself at the Normandy's bar pouring herself another drink. Her anger fades and the pain is quick to replace it. She hadn't meant it to end this way. Rae knew that she couldn't allow Charles to get close and had been prepared to break anything off before it could bud. That had been the reason she lied and said she never loved him. He quickly saw through her lie and called her on it. What she hadn't expected was the way he did so. His words echoed in her head, pulling memories that she'd tried so hard to bury.

At first her anger had been to mask the pain. Then he crossed the line. Fury had clouded her head and before she knew it she had his throat in her hand. If Garrus hadn't of stopped her…. Guilt washed through her and the pain inside her throbbed. Anger numbed it but it never lasted long. Ryncol on the other hand lasts a while longer. As long as she keeps drinking it Rae can avoid confronting the demons that plague her.

Garrus walks in just as she empties her glass and proceeds to fill another. He sat down besides her but doesn't say anything. He waits patiently as he watches her, waiting for her to speak.

Rae sighs and sets her glass down. "I don't want to talk about it."

Garrus nodded, pulling the bottle away when she reaches for it. "Shepard, you're my commanding officer but you're also a friend. This can't be healthy."

Rae can't help but let out a short laugh. "And dying and being rebuilt is?"

He frowns, "You've been given a second chance, Shepard. And, from what I've noticed, you're throwing it away with this poison. I did some research and I believe you might be an alcoholic."

Any amusement quickly leaves her face. Rae turns to him, her eyes narrowing. "I'm going to tell this to you once Garrus. I've seen, heard, and done things I cannot be proud of. It haunts me day and night. I can't sleep because of the nightmares and I can't face it because of the guilt. The one thing I have that makes it bearable is the booze."

"Liara…"

Rae growled, slamming her hand on the bar. "Is safe where ever she is and deserves better than a cursed marine. I can't and won't mess it up for her. So don't bring it up again. Suit up Vakarian. We have a krogan to pick up."


	11. Chapter 11

a/n: Sorry for the shortness of the last chapter. It just seemed the perfect time to end the chapter. I made up for it by posting two chapters close together though /grin. Now it's time for everyone's favorite and lovable krogan!

-brittsis

* * *

Rae brought Garrus and Jack along with her to recruit Okeer. Garrus remained silent in the shuttle, choosing to leave her alone for now. Jack on the other hand wouldn't keep her mouth shut. Every time they faced opposition, she'd start yelling curses while tearing people apart with her biotics. She'd never be able to come along in a stealth mission but Rae had to admit the woman was powerful.

"I will tear you apart!" Jack yelled as she launched a shockwave at a group trenched in front of them. Several went flying and Rae took the opportunity to charge the stunned mercs. Biotics exploded and only chunks remained.

Rae held up her hand and signaled for silence. She frowned, just able to hear someone cursing. Taking out her shotgun, Rae circled around the cover and found one of them crawling away. "Shit. Shit! It won't stop bleeding… I'm gonna… son of a bitch!"

"Doesn't look that bad actually," Garrus grumbled, shipping his sniper rifle and pulling out his side arm.

"He doesn't need to know that." Rae replied and fired her shotgun in front of the escaping merc. He curled into a ball and cursed some more, causing Rae to roll her eyes. She walked over and hauled him onto his feet and slammed him against one of the make shit barriers.

He groaned. "I knew it wasn't berserkers. Not at range. You're mercs. Or Alliance. I'm not… I'm not telling you anything."

"If you're not going to talk I might as well put you out of your misery." Rae hissed out, placing the barrel of her shotgun against his gut. "You're choice."

"Son of a…" The merc close his eyes tight and shook his head. "I just, I don't know anything. I just shoot the overflow from the labs. The old krogan up there, he's really been cleaning house lately. Jedore hired him to make her an army, but the krogan he creates are insane, so we use them for live ammo training. It's all crap; I don't get paid enough to die!"

His communications open up and someone on the other line asks for directions. Rae frowned, "I want your friends gone. Understand?"

He swallows hard and nods. "Uh, patrol? The last group…. dispersed. Lost sight five minutes ago," he waits for the reply before growling out, "You heard what I said, dispersed."

Rae backs off a bit and lowered her weapon when he helped. "Have you seen Okeer? Does he know about all of this?"

He shakes his head. "We can't go in the labs, but everyone sees what happens when the krogan come out. I've shot hundreds. They're crazy. Mindless. Anyone up there, they know what's going on."

Raegan nods, "What are the defenses in the labs?"

"There are big guns to keep the ships away. We're not outfitted to fend off goddamn commandos."

She sighs and waves him off, deciding to be merciful for now. "If you start limping now, you might find a shady spot before you bleed out."

He curses and limps away, causing Jack to laugh. "Now that's just mean Shepard."

* * *

It doesn't take them long to fight through the base. The intel provided to her had been accurate and the ease of the mission is almost laughable. The only challenge had been the few krogan they came across. But with a few warps from her and Jack, Garrus was able to get in a couple headshots.

"This is boring Shepard." Jack growls out, her biotics rippling over her body.

"I'll take the break and won't complain." Garrus replies, taking down another merc.

Raegan sighs and shakes her head. "If you want, Jack, Garrus and I could take a break and let you handle them. We'll be back here, drinking some tea and enjoying the day."

"Fuck that!" Jack launched a shockwave, knocking the last couple mercs off their feet.

Rae walked through them, executing them with her pistol. "Then don't complain. We'll have our difficult moments sooner or later. Let's enjoy the peace."

They went through another door to find an asari hiding behind a surgery gurney. She stands up, hands in the air and shaking with fear. "Shepard, please don't shoot. You know me."

Rae frowns, instantly recognizing her from Saren's lab. She didn't think anyone had made it out alive and was surprised to find the woman here. "Rana, what are you doing here? After I let you go on Virmire I hoped to never see you again."

"Yeah, I'm not proud of what went on there." She shakes her head. "But I'm using what we learned for the greater good. Not for the mercs! Jedore's on a standard power trip. But Okeer is trying to do something good, even if his methods are a little… extreme. Everyone deserves a second chance right?"

Rae's eyes narrowed as she considered this. She'd already given Rana a chance and that didn't work. If she let the woman go now where would she end up next? "Second chances, yes, third chances?" Rae shook her head and raised her shotgun and fired once. Rana fell to the ground, dead before she fully collapsed.

* * *

"Jack, keep the krogans busy. Garrus, overload that mech!" Rae gave orders as she ran into cover behind one of the cloning tanks. One of the krogan tried circling around them but Rae warped it before filling it with shotgun slugs. It fell to the ground dead only to be replaced by one of its brothers.

Garrus cursed as the mech opened fire, causing him to pull back into cover. He switched his sniper rifle for his assault rifle and peppered the krogans with cover fire. Jack used the opportunity to warp several targets at once. The mech stopped firing and Rae stepped out of cover to warp the armor off. "Garrus!"

The turian nodded and shot the mechs head off. The warning sounds went off and Rae pulled Jack back into cover. A few seconds later the thing exploded, taking several krogan with it.

Jedore cursed and started opening fire with her rocket launcher. Rae ordered her team to deal with the last two krogan while she built up her biotics. Rising from cover, Rae let out a yell and charged the merc commander. The woman's tech armor was no match against the force behind the charge. She went flying and hit the wall with a cry of pain. Rae brought her shotgun up and opened fire, tearing through her armor.

Jedore rolled into cover, leaving a trail of blood behind her. She started crying for reinforcements but they never made it. Rae jumped over her cover and pumped two shells into the woman's skull.

"All clear." Garrus called out just as Rae turned from her dead opponent.

"Let's check on…"

EDI interrupted her. "Shepard, the lab alarms coincide with a system failure. The remaining lab systems are unprotected and I have gained limited access. According to lab scanners, the room is flooded with toxins, and Okeer's personal life signs are failing rapidly. I recommend haste."

"You heard her people." Rae growled out, hustling back to the door. "Double time."

* * *

They didn't make it back in time to save the Warlord but their mission wasn't a complete waste of time. They did receive a krogan but the question remained whether to wake it or not. When she walked into the conference room Miranda and Jacob were arguing over just that. Miranda was all for sending the guy to Cerberus for study while Jacob supported waking him. Rae set her glass down and crossed her arms. "I see everyone's enjoying the new paperweight."

Miranda frowned. "We don't know anything about it, Commander."

Rae nodded, "I've tangled with a few krogan before. You show it no fear and impress it with your strength and there's no problem."

"I agree with Shepard." Jacob spoke up. "We need a heavy hitter and a krogan will work perfectly."

"This is your ship, Shepard. But…"

"That's right." Rae interrupted her. "This is my ship. I'm going to wake him. If he causes problems, I will deal with him."

"If you need any help Commander, you know where to find me." Jacob saluted her before leaving.

Miranda stayed, not moving from her spot. Rae raised a brow and took a sip from her glass. "Is there something else Lawson?"

"About Freeman," Miranda spoke up, receiving a growl in response. "Have you talked to him since you confined him to the brig?"

Rae set her glass down carefully, just barely keeping her temper in check. "I made my decision about Chief Freeman. We're heading for the Citadel. When we arrive, he will be escorted off my ship."

"Commander, I don't recommend…"

"When are you going to learn to follow my orders Lawson?" Rae hissed out, eyes glaring at the woman. "I'm giving you one last warning. Do as I say or you can join him on the docks. Am I understood?"

Miranda was silent for just a moment before nodding. "I understand."

* * *

Rae studied the tank in front of her, thoughts buzzing through her mind. The krogan inside looked dangerous enough without the warnings from EDI and her crew. It would be smart to leave him in stasis but Jacob was correct, they needed a heavy hitter on the team. Rae could still remember fighting with Wrex beside her and knew all too well what having a krogan on your team could do. Now if they could get Wrex… Rae shook the thought from her head. Her old friend was busy, according to the reports. She'd have to make due.

"EDI, flush the big guy." Rae ordered.

"Cerberus protocol is very clear regarding untested alien technology."

Rae cursed, fists tightening. "I'm getting fucking tired of being second guess on my ship. Open the god damn tank!"

"Very well, Shepard. The controls are online. The switch and consequences are yours." EDI answered.

She reached over and put the commands in. the liquid began to drain and Rae took a step back, hand on the butt of her pistol. The doors opened and the krogan fell to his knees, coughing up the remaining liquids. He caught his breath and rose to his feet. Their eyes met and Rae cursed softly, bracing herself. He yelled and charged her, ramming her body against the wall.

"Human. Female." He growled out, eyes narrow. "Before you die, I need a name."

Rae growled back, her own eyes narrowing. "I'm Commander Shepard, and I don't take threats lightly. I suggest you relax."

He shook his head. "Not your name. Mine. I am trained. I know things, but the tank… Okeer couldn't implant connection. His words are hollow. Warlord, legacy, grunt… grunt. 'Grunt' was among the last. It has no meaning. It'll do."

Grunt returned his attention to her, increasing the pressure on his hold. "I am Grunt. If you are worthy of your command, prove your strength and try to destroy me."

"Why do you want me to try to kill you?"

"Want?" Grunt shook his head. "I do what I am meant to; fight and reveal the strongest. Nothing in the tank ever asked what I want. I feel nothing for Okeer's clan or his enemies. That imprint failed. He has failed. Without a reason that's mine, one fight is as good as any other. Might as well start with you."

Rae nodded, a smile spreading her lips. "If it's a fight you want…"

"It is."

Rae didn't answer him, instead lashing out with her biotics. The krogan stumbled back, giving her time to move from the wall. She lashed out, her fist connecting with his jaw. He shook his head and roared, charging her again. Rae turned and ran, reaching the wall and pushing off it. She jumped over him and kicked him. Grunt hit the wall full charge, causing his vision to blur. He turned to confront her only to find Rae's pistol in his face. He laughed, a grin forming on his face. "You're not afraid to fight dirty."

"I'm not afraid to win. What will it be Grunt?" Rae asked.

Grunt nodded, "If you're weak and choose weak enemies, I'll have to kill you."

Rae grinned then, "Our enemies are worthy. No doubt about that."

"Hmm… hmph! That's… acceptable. I'll fight for you."

"I'm glad you saw reason." Rae lowered her gun and held out her hand. He took it and they shook. "Welcome to the team, Grunt."


	12. Chapter 12

a/n: Well here's Horizon. Do you know what that means? One chapter closer to Liara -grins-

-brittsis

* * *

"The Illusive Man wishes to speak to you in the debriefing room, Commander." Kelly spoke up as soon as she emerged from the elevator.

Rae frowned; sure he wanted to speak about her recent decision. The leader of Cerberus couldn't be too happy about her arresting Charles and waking a perfect krogan from hibernation. It was tempting to ignore his request and head for the science lab. She needed to check on Mordin and his progress but she had a feeling he wouldn't stop pestering her until she spoke with him.

She accepted the inevitable and headed for the debriefing room. The table lowered and the hologram rose up, showing her The Illusive Man. She crossed her arms as she spoke, "You wanted to talk with me?"

He nodded, taking a drag from his cigarette. "Shepard, I think we have them! Horizon, one of our colonies in the Terminus Systems, just went silent. If it isn't under attack, it soon will be. Has Mordin delivered the countermeasure for these seeker swarms?"

Rae lowered her arms, suddenly unable to stay still. "He's working on it."

"Let's hope he works well under pressure." He frowned. "There's something else you should know. One of your former crew, Kaidan Alenko, is station on Horizon."

"That doesn't sound like a coincidence." Rae frowned. "Send a message to the Citadel. The Alliance can give us reinforcements."

The Illusive Man shook his head, "Not until you investigate. I don't want the Alliance getting in our way. Once you have the situation under control, I'll send the message personally."

Rae clenched a fist, wishing he was really there. "I can complete the investigation while they move in."

"No." He said more forcefully.

"Fine I'll do it myself." Rae growled out, turning to leave.

"Shepard!"

Rae gave him the finger as she ran out the room. "Joker, head for Horizon. EDI, send a message to Anderson. Let him know that the Collectors will attack."

"The Illusive Man has expressed his orders Commander. The Alliance cannot be contacted." EDI spoke up.

Rae cursed as she walked into Mordin's lab. "Then find a way around the block! I want reinforcements on the way. Do you understand?"

"Commander…"

"Don't fucking argue and do it!"

"Yes, Commander. Logging you out."

Rae turned to Mordin, "Please tell me you have something!"

Mordin looked over to his samples then to her, a smile spreading on his lips. "Developed repellant. In limited numbers, should confuse detection, make us invisible to swarms. In theory. Larger swarms problematic."

Rae nodded understanding. "Suit up Mordin, you're coming with me."

* * *

It had been endless fighting since they landed. Party after party would fly in and start shooting, not giving the landing party a chance to rest. They were winning though, slowly pushing through the colony. Grunt was the perfect distraction. His large form would bowl through the enemy, throwing them off guard. Garrus hung back and gathered a body count with his sniper rifle. Mordin was prone to distraction but issued incineration blast from his omnitool without prejudice.

Rae fell into cover, breathing heavily. They had cleared one group only for another to show up. She could hear Grunt taunting the enemy accompanied by his shotgun firing. Garrus fired his rifle and fell into cover beside her to reload. He glanced over, mandibles tight. "Shepard, we need to figure something else out."

"I know." She growled out through clenched teeth.

"Recommend calling in reinforcements. Second landing party might turn tides." Mordin replied before freezing a collector and shattering it with his pistol.

Rae didn't want to do it. Anything could go wrong and they couldn't waste all their resources to save one colony. The mission was greater than the few hundred lives at risk. Her strategic mind argued that the four of them could easily hold out and make it through the colony but it would take time. Time that the colonist did not have.

"Shepard?" Garrus asked. "What are your orders?"

She frowned, ignoring him as she looked around trying to find anything they could use. Then her eyes fell upon a doll, left behind by its owner. Its dark eyes seemed to bore into her, knocking the breath from her. How could she forget so easily? Had she gone so cold to toss aside lives of innocents?

"Normandy, come in." She growled out, rising from cover.

"Yes Commander?" EDI's voice answered her hail.

"Get the remaining landing party prepped and ready for drop." Rae charged into the group beside Grunt, tossing the krogan a couple heat sinks for his gun. "I want them to circle around and draw some heat from us. Rescue any civilian they come across."

"Yes Commander."

"I am assuming direct control." A voice echoed through the battle field as a light filled one of the collectors. It seemed to struggle before it levitated a few inches off the ground.

"Get to cover!" Raegan yelled, overcoming her surprise.

"We are your genetic destiny." That thing spoke again, throwing a biotic charge missile at her as she peeked over her cover. Rae was thrown to the ground as her suit flashed warnings at her. Her ears were ringing as she struggled to get off the ground. She could hear Garrus yelling for her while Grunt roared.

"I… I'm fine!" Rae managed out, getting to her knees. Another missile headed right for her but she was ready for it this time. She rolled to the side and lifted her rifle sights. "Concentrate on that thing!"

"You will know me, Shepard!" It yelled as a biotic barrier coated its body. "We are the harbinger of your destruction."

Rae threw a warp just as Garrus fired a concussive shot, causing its barrier to waver. She dodged another missile and dove behind cover to avoid enemy fire. She ordered Mordin and Grunt to take care of the other enemies while they worked on this one. Garrus switched to his assault rifle and kept up the concussive shots while she hit it with heavy warps and rifle fire. Their teamwork was finally rewarded as the enemy fell and disintegrated.

"Garrus, get the door." Rae ordered, turning her attention to the other soldiers. She pushed Mordin towards the bunker while rushing to Grunt's aid. Rifle fire provided cover while she ordered Grunt back. The two of them backed up slowly while keeping the enemy at bay.

"It's open!" Garrus called, adding his own rifle fire to the mix.

Rae pushed the krogan into the room as Mordin froze another enemy. Her bullets shattered the enemy as the doors slid shut. They were finally given a moment. "Okay, take five peo…"

She was interrupted as movement drew her attention to the other side of the room. The entire party lifted their guns and aimed at the man walking from his hiding spot. His hands were above his head as he spoke, "Don't shoot!"

Rae sighed and shipped her weapon, a frown on her face. "We're not going to kill you."

"You're…" His stuttered, relief and surprise on his face. "You're human! What are you doing out here? You'll lead them right here!"

"They were right outside the door trying to hack in." Rae said flatly, waving for Garrus to search the area for supplies. "You're lucky you're not in the hold of a Collector ship right now."

"Those things are Collectors? You mean… they're real?" He shook his head. "I thought they were just made up. You know, propaganda, to keep us in Alliance Space. No! They got Lilith. I saw her go down. Sten, too. They got damn near everybody!"

"I need you to remain calm and tell me what happened." Rae stepped forward, placing a calming hand on his shoulder.

"I… I came down to check on the main grid after we lost our comm. Signals. Then I heard screaming. I looked outside and there was…. Swarms of bugs. Everyone they touched just froze. I sealed the doors." He pulled away and paced the room. "Damn it! It's the Alliance's fault! They station that Commander Alenko here and built those defense towers. It made us a target!"

Rae controlled her anger. She was finding it difficult to ignore the insults to the Alliance. She had been a colony kid, at the mercy to pirates. If it hadn't been for the Alliance she would be dead. She clenched her teeth and balled her fists. "Tell me about the towers."

"A gift from the Alliance. High powered GARDIAN lasers." He answered her. "They're supposed to keep hostile ships from landing near the colony. Had to build a massive underground generator just to give it enough juice. Only we couldn't get the targeting systems online. So the Alliance gave us a giant gun that couldn't shoot straight. Stupid sons of a bitches."

Her eye twitched as she growled low. "Stop insulting the Alliance, it is pissing me off."

"We're just a small colony. Nobody bother us before we started building those damn defense towers and drew attention to ourselves. I left Council Space to get away from the Alliance. Nothing good ever comes from getting mixed up with them."

Rae couldn't hold it in any longer. She rushed him and grabbed his collar, slamming him against the wall. "Ever heard of Mindoir? We were a small colony as well, nothing of importance. And yet the pirate and slaves came. Guess who saved us?"

He cursed, struggling against her hold. Rae only twisted tighter, drawing in more cloth. "If you insult the Alliance again…"

"Shepard." Garrus warned, coming to her side. His hand rested on her shoulder, drawing her away.

Rae growled and released her hold, dropping the man. She shrugged Garrus's hand off and pulled her flask from her armor. "We can use the defense towers against the Collectors."

"You'd need to calibrate the targeting system first. It's never worked right…" The man grumbled out.

"Mordin?" Rae asked as she took a swig of the alcohol.

"Calibrations could be done, but would take time. Need to see terminal, determine problem." He answered her, tapping his chin in thought. "AI probably better, could do calculations quicker."

Rae nodded, "Where is the gun?"

The man waved at the other exit. "Head for the main transmitter on the other side of the colony. Pretty hard to miss. The targeting controls are at the base."

"Let's move people." Rae stored her flask again and waved for Garrus to open the doors. "EDI inform Miranda's team, have them meet us at the controls."

* * *

The door opened to gunfire The other team had arrived before them and was already engaging the enemy. A pair of large hulking figured shuffled through the gunfire throwing powerful shockwaves. Rae switched to her shotgun and charged one of them. It stumbled back and roared at her while she unloaded her shotgun. Fire coated it after Mordin fired an incineration blast. It fell to their combined power, leaving the other.

Rae jumped to the side to avoid the shockwave heading straight for her. She rolled into cover only to land beside Charles. "Freeman, What are you doing here?"

Charles pulled a grenade from his belt and tossed it into a group of husks. "Miranda needed a heavy hitter for the team."

"Bullshit!" Rae growled. "She had Zaeed."

He shrugged. "Can we discuss this later? I'm a little busy."

Rae controlled the urge to punch him, instead rising from cover. She yelled as her biotics lit up and she charged the second enemy. Her anger fueled her biotics, causing them to magnify. The thing was already mostly dead from the combined fire power of her crew. It was no match for her charge and shotgun blast to the face. It fell dead at her feet as her crew finished cleaning up the area.

"Okay people, we're almost done. Garrus, Massani, Freeman…" Rae growled out the soldier's name and pointed to the prefab behind them. "Get up top with your sniper rifles and pick off any oncoming enemies. Miranda, Jacob, and Jack, take five to power up. We're going to need those biotics. Work together and tear apart the husks. Keep them off me."

The two groups nodded, though Jack did glare at Miranda. Rae turned to Kasumi, "Stay cloaked and work with EDI. We'll keep the enemies away while you work on getting the targeting system online."

"Right away." The woman smiled before disappearing from view.

"Mordin and Grunt, same as before. Pick your targets and take them out." Rae reloaded her weapon.

"Shepard, enemies are closing in on your position." EDI spoke up over the comms.

"You heard her people. Look alive."

* * *

She was tired, running low on thermal clips, and covered in goo. Each time she had charged a husk it exploded on her. She didn't even want to think about the sticky substance attached to her shoulder pad. Then the large flying Collector had descended upon them. The cannons had finally finished powering up and started firing. "Take it out!"

Charles stood from cover and fired a rocket, knocking the thing out of the air. An unnatural scream filled the air as it curled up and died. Its ash rained down and covered Rae was well. Now she really needed a shower.

"The Collector ship is leaving Commander." EDI informed her as the ground shook.

Rae cursed as it left atmosphere. "The cannons didn't even leave a dent!"

"But we stopped them from taking more people." Miranda walked over to her. "Good job Commander."

The guy was earlier ran past them, chasing the leaving ship. "No! Don't let them get away!"

Rae frowned. "That ship is huge. Exactly how are we supposed to catch it? It took a lot of fire power just to scare it away."

"Half the colony's in there. They took Egan and Sam and… and Lilith. Do something?" He begged.

"There's nothing more we can do."

"If it wasn't for Shepard, you'd all be on board that ship." Miranda interjected.

"Shepard?" He frowned and turned to her. "Wait. I know that name. Sure, I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero."

"Commander Shepard. Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel." Kaidan emerged from the prefabs. "You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

Delan narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "All the good people we lost and you get left behind. Figures. Screw this. I'm done with you Alliance types."

The mechanic stormed off and Rae ignored him, her attention all on Kaidan. He came closer and offered his hand. "I thought you were dead, Commander. We all did."

Rae took the hand and gave it a firm shake. "Technically, I was dead."

He frowned and looked at her team mates, his eyes falling on Miranda and her uniform. His eyes narrowed as he backed away. "What's going on Commander? You show up after two years and just act like nothing happened? I would've followed you anywhere, Commander. Thinking you we're gone… We held a funeral! Liara… she…"

He growled, "Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

"I was dead!" Rae growled back. "For two years I was strapped to a surgical table being pieced back together!"

"By who? Cerberus!?" Kaidan pointed to Miranda. "I saw the reports that you're working with them. You even have a few on your crew!"

"Do you think so little of me? Do you really think I'd be with them if I had a choice?" Rae yelled at him. "No one else is willing to stop the Collectors! I come back and the Reapers have been swept under the rug. What have you been doing the last two years?"

"Fighting!" Kaidan answered. "Doing everything in my power to save people. How about you Commander? Alliance regulations too much?"

"Kaidan!" Garrus growled out, running over.

"You too, Garrus?" Kaidan shook his head.

"The Alliance and the Council refuse to help." Rae growled out. "Colonies are disappearing and Cerberus is the only one willing to give me the help I need!"

"You can't really believe that! We both know what Cerberus is like. What they're capable of." Kaidan shook his head. "I wanted to believe the rumors that you were alive, but I never expected anything like this. You turned your back on everything we stood for! And Liara… You left her for this?!"

Raegan turned away, eyes growing dark as guilt ate away at her. Garrus growled, "That's enough Kaidan."

"I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if they're working with the Collectors?"

"Typical Alliance attitude," Miranda spoke up and crossed her arms. "You're so focused on Cerberus that you're blind to the real threat."

"Not helping, Miranda." Rae snapped at her. "Kaidan, I am not a traitor. I'm still the same person."

Kaidan shook his head and backed further away. "You've changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier. Always will be. I've got to report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not."

"We both know how that's going to turn out." Rae called out after him. "The Alliance will try to blame Cerberus, just like you did."

Kaidan hesitated for just a second. "A leopard can't change its spots. Cerberus can't be trusted. Goodbye, Shepard. And be careful."

Rae turned away, anger and grief twisting her features. "Joker, send a shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

"Shepard?" Garrus asked as she uncapped her flask and downed the remaining liquid.

She growled in warning. "And someone put Freeman back in the brig."


	13. Chapter 13

a/n: I am sorry for the LONG wait. Mom went for a checkup and they found more cancer and it had spread. So I've been busy with her. I considered putting this on hiatus but when I talked with her she urged me to continue. I can't promise any kind of update schedule but I'll continue.

-brittsis

* * *

She preferred to stay until the end. First boots down and the last off. And yet she couldn't leave the planet quick enough. Kaidan's words had stung and left her yearning for some violence. She had almost been given her wish when the Alliance showed up. They set a blockade up and refused them leave. Then Joker pulled a few strings, called in a few favors, and they were free to go. It was disappointing on how quickly the Captains had stepped down and provided them clearance to the mass relay. Raegan had wanted a challenge and been denied it.

Now she was in the shuttle bay, pounding a support beam wrapped with a mattress as she drained a bottle of Ryncol. She snarled at her makeshift enemy as she switched effortlessly from boxing to martial arts and back again. Music filled the area, a deep primal beat meant to distract her from her thoughts. It wasn't working.

Her mind kept going back.

'_You show up after two years and just act like nothing happened? I would've followed you anywhere, Commander. Thinking you were gone… We held a funeral! Liara…'_

She snarled and punched her makeshift bag hard enough to feel her fist bruise. He hadn't finished his sentence but his meaning was there. She'd died, leaving her loved ones to hold the bag. If she hadn't come back, if she hadn't cheated death then it would've been okay. But now that she was back and two years was a long time to mourn for someone still alive.

'_How about you Commander? Alliance regulations too much?'_

Rae had been following regulations to the letter that day. Evacuation had been called and her crew came first. As acting Captain it was her duty to assure everyone's safety, even the stubborn pilot that refused to give up. She'd do it again too. Duty came before personal feelings. Duty came before love. Duty was the reason so few had died in the attack on their ship. Duty was the reason she was alive now, fighting to save the galaxy. Duty was the reason she'd lost so much.

'_You turned your back on everything we stood for!'_

That hurt more than anything. It took her breath away and had her stepping away from her target. She grabbed her bottle and took a couple swigs from it as she rubbed the pain from her chest. Raegan had been true to her values from day one. Protect the weak and defend the innocent; the shield between the bad and the good. Or was that even true anymore? What had she done recently; working with terrorists, mistrusting her team, recruiting criminals? She was slipping, becoming her old self. Slowly she was closing parts of herself off and becoming cold. And for what? So she could slip into an alcoholic stupor and forget that she was human?

'_And Liara… You left her for this!?'_

Anger flashed through her as she cried out in anguish. She threw her bottle against the wall but it didn't help. The pain was still there, making it hard for her to breath. All her effort was for nothing. Just the thought of the asari brought her to her knees. Before Rae could stop, tears were trailing down her cheeks and sobs racked her body. She grieved for the life stolen from her. And that's how Garrus found her.

He'd been concerned when EDI reported that the Commander was down here, drinking and alone. Rushing to her side, Garrus knelt beside her and placed a hand on the woman's back. His mandibles twitched worriedly as he watched her. He didn't know what to do or how he could help her. So he stayed beside her, hand on her back, and waited. She tried to turn away but Garrus only moved closer. He had watched as she became distance to the rest of the crew. She didn't do her rounds as she did on the SR1 or take her meals with the crew. Missions were brief and to the point, no longer filled with the teasing he came to enjoy before. Her dependency on the alcohol was becoming frequent and he was worried. Garrus would do everything in his power to keep her from pulling away from him as well.

Rae struggled to control the grief rolling through her. It felt like a dam had been breached and couldn't be patched. Everything she'd been hiding from came rolling out and she had no choice but to see it through. It left her weak and empty, shaking from the emotion. She brushed the tears from her cheeks as she caught her breath. Shame flashed through her. As an officer it was her job to be strong for her crew. She shouldn't have broken down like this. Anger flooded her, blocking everything else. Anger was easier to deal with.

"Shepard…" Garrus spoke softly, deciding to break the silence.

Rae rose to her feet and walked away, not saying a word. She pulled the boxing tape from her hands and tossed it into her bag. She pulled out a fresh bottle of liquor and twisted the cap open. Garrus growled when she took a swig but she ignored him.

"Shepard." He spoke more forcefully this time, taking a step towards her.

"It was just a moment. A lapse." She hissed out. "It won't happen again."

"Commander…"

"No!" Rae yelled out, throwing her hand out to cut him off. "Now leave before I do or say something I might regret later."

His mandible drew in tight as his eyes narrowed. Garrus almost left. He almost turned around and abandoned her to her grief. Then he spotted the control that was just barely there. Her hands shook as she lifted the bottle to her lips. Her eyes were clouded with the pain she was afraid to show. She refused to look him in the eye and edged away. She needed help that she wasn't going to find at the bottom of the bottle. He stepped forward and growled. "Commander Shepard, I challenge you."

"What?"

* * *

The turians were brilliant. Rae had always believed a tough workout mixed with a healthy boxing match a great way to blow off some steam. Some Alliance ships held boxing matches but they were heavily regulated and participants were required to wear protective gear. The turians on the other hand allowed full contact with no holds barred. It was beautiful.

"Do you understand the rules Shepard?" Garrus asked, removing the last of his armor.

Rae grinned, re-taping her hands. "The fight isn't over until one of us is unconscious or admits defeat."

Garrus nodded as he circled the make shift ring. Rae had called full stop to the ship and had the crew make a circle with some crates in the docking bay. Anyone that wasn't on mandatory duty had gathered to watch the show. Even Joker had hobbled down from the cockpit, a grin on his face. Bets were made and sides were picked. "Let's make this interesting. A bet?"

Rae jumped in place, swinging her arms and craning her neck. "What do you have in mind?"

"If you win, I'll buy you a round or two during shore leave."

Rae nodded. "And if you win?"

Garrus grinned, "We take shore leave at Illium instead of the Citadel."

She frowned, wondering why he'd ask for this. She had planned to head for Illium after shore leave anyways. Two recruits that Miranda had passed to her were suspected to be there. She considered it for a moment before finally nodding. "Deal."

He charged her just as she finished speaking. Rae hadn't been expecting it and reacted almost too late. She dodged to the side, avoiding his grip but receiving a rake of his talons. Her skin split open and blood flowed freely from the wound on her arm as she hissed in pain. Rae wouldn't under estimate him again.

Garrus pivoted on his heel and swung around, his foot heading for her head. Rae blocked the attack and grabbed his ankle, pulling him off balance. She released his foot and slammed her elbow into his chest. He hit the ground hard but didn't stay there long. He rolled away and kicked out, trying to knock her legs out. Rae jumped back to avoid the hit.

Garrus got to his feet and narrowed his eyes. She was quicker than he thought. And more calculating. Even now she circled him, waiting for the chance to bring him down. It made him grin. He let out a chuckle before advancing, talons sweeping at her chest.

Rae dodged the attack, weaving to avoid the sharp talons sweeping at her. She grabbed a wrist and twisted, trying to pin him. Garrus was stronger and used his muscles to turn the attack against her. Before she knew it, she hit the floor face first. Pain exploded as her nose broke and his knee slammed into her back.

She cursed and tried to buck him off. Garrus only put all his weight into the middle of her back, keeping her in place. He chuckled, "Give up?"

"Never," she growled and tried to throw him again.

"Admit it Shepard, I'm better at hand to hand."

"Not if I use my biotics." Rae hissed.

"And be declared a cheat."

Rae knew he spoke the truth. They had agreed from the beginning that she wouldn't use her biotics. It was an unfair advantage. She tried one last time before admitting defeat. Garrus helped her up with a grin just as Jack jumped into the arena. Her biotics flared as she approached.

"Me next." Jack grinned, "And this time you can use your biotics."

* * *

Her nanites had healed all cuts and bruises over night, only leaving her sore. She woke and grimaced as she stretched her over worked muscles. It had been long and tiring but she finally over powered Jack. The woman had more power than her but Raegan had better control. Where Jack bullied through the fight, Rae waited for the best point to attack. The fight had left them sweaty and breathless but for once she had slept through the night.

"Commander," Edi's voice spoke through the silence.

"Yes Edi?" Rae asked as headed for the shower.

"Miranda wishes to speak to you once you're available."

Rae sighed and rubbed her face. She didn't want to deal with Miranda this early. The woman would probably lecture her about the fights last night. She'd probably cite some Cerberus rule about unregulated fights then express the Illusive Man's displeasure with her actions on Horizon. However, whether she liked it or not, Miranda was her second in command and a captain listened to her officers. "Fine, tell her I will meet her in her office in thirty."

"Joker also wanted to inform you that our arrival to Illium has an eta of one hour."

She nodded while turning the shower on. "Have security escort Freeman to the air lock upon docking. We'll be dropping him off there."

"Right away, Commander. Is there anything else?"

"That is all Edi."

"Logging you out."

* * *

"Shepard," Miranda looked up as she enter the office and folded her hands on the desk. "I find myself in the unpleasant position of asking for your help. I don't like discussing personal matters but this is important."

Rae frowned, surprised at the pleading note in the woman's voice. She walked further into the room and took a seat in one of the chairs. "Lawson, we may not see eye to eye on things but you are part of my crew. As commanding officer I have obligations to up hold."

"It's a long story." Miranda began looking down at her hands. "My upbringing isn't one you would call normal. My father…"

She hesitated while gathering her thoughts. "He didn't want a daughter as much as he wanted a legacy. He was very demanding while, at the same time, being distant. He provided everything a girl could want but demanded everything in return. It's hard to explain."

Rae couldn't help but understand. Her mother had been the same, wanting something that she could never give her. "No need, I understand."

"I was a teenager when I left. Father wasn't happy and wanted me back. Cerberus offered their protection." Miranda explained. "I accepted but there was another reason I went to Cerberus."

Rae raised a brow as the woman rose from her chair and paced the room, her hands rubbing together anxiously. Miranda sighed and turned back to her. "I have a sister, a twin, and he's still hunting her. Cerberus has kept her safe until now. She's living a normal life on Illium, safe and hidden from my father."

"Until now," Rae spoke up.

Miranda nodded. "My sources indicate that he knows she's on Illium. I tried to keep her hidden without impacting her life but I'm out of options. He's too close; I need to relocate my sister's family before it's too late."

Raegan felt her heart tug. She didn't trust Miranda. In fact she found the woman up tight and disagreeable. But Rae understood the need to protect loved ones and Miranda had found her soft spot. Family would always come first. "Okay, what do you need me to do?"

Surprise crossed Miranda's face before she could mask it. Rae could tell that the woman believed that she'd turn her down. Miranda relaxed, the worry falling from her shoulders. "My father is persistent. I'd like to be there when Cerberus is moving the family to make sure none of his agents get too close. My contact's name is Lanteia. She'll be waiting for us in the lounge in the Nos Astra docking bay."

Rae stood up and nodded. "Who else would you like to bring along?"

"Jacob, I can trust him."

"Tell him to meet us at the air lock when we dock then."

"Shepard, thank you."

"Family is important Lawson." Rae explained before leaving.

* * *

"Raegan…" Charles called her name when she entered the airlock. He was standing between two guards with his hands cuffed behind his back. "Please, I'm…"

Rae glared at him, a growl silencing him. "I don't want to hear it. I've arranged passage to the Citadel for you. I suggest you board the shuttle and contact your family. Go home Freeman."

He shook his head, "My place is at your side. Can't you see that?"

She stepped close, their faces inches apart. Her eyes glared into his as she spoke clearly. "Go home Charles. We're over, nothing is left. I don't want to see or hear from you again. You're lucky to be alive, don't waste it."

The air lock opened and she stepped out. Miranda and Jacob went to speak with the docking officials while she watched the guards escort Charles away. He struggled and called her name, but she didn't reply. He became louder the farther he was pulled away. Just before he was pulled through the door he yelled out. "You're mine Raegan, mine! No one else can have you!"

Miranda came to stand beside her, "I'm sorry."

Rae raised a brow, surprised to hear those words coming from the woman. "For?"

She waived toward Charles's exit. "Freeman was brought aboard the ship because we thought he was the best for you. We thought that… It doesn't matter. I can see now that I was wrong."

Rae hummed in thought. "There might be some hope for you yet. Is everything okay with the docking officials?"

Miranda hesitated, considering for just a moment to tell her the truth. Liara had paid their fees and asked for Shepard. It would be the right thing to do and might bring some happiness to the woman. But she had her orders. The two were to be kept apart until further noticed. "The fees are paid for. We're good for a week and can arrange for more time if we need it."

"We'll help your sister Miranda." Rae spoke softly. "Then take a couple days of leave before picking up our new squad mates."


End file.
